Here are your missions of the week:
We recognize that the three areas of a man's life which masculinize him, and make him feel most alive, vital and attractive are Work, Women, and Being a Man.
At Men's Psychology Magazine we are not just about ideas and talk. We are about you taking the lessons of the many men's skill building courses, and putting them to real action in your life. Below are your "Missions of the Week" in the three core masculine areas, to get a jumpstart on life.
Mission in Being a Man: Get What You Deserve ANYWAY
Think about your life this week, and wonder about a woman or two that you know or have known, who couldn't seem to be happy for your victories. Maybe she's your mother even, or your sister, or a coworker.
Then think about a woman in your life who doesn't seem to have gratitude and thanks for you being in her life, or can't, won't, or doesn't communicate it. Same difference. It falls on all of us to communicate who we are and what we need.
Then consider the boundaries and the exercise I give you there that uses two circles - one for you, your world, your frame of reference, and one for hers.
Now imagine in both cases above - celebration and gratitude in the woman - that when she is good to you, you are willing to step ONE FOOT into her boundary circle. When she praises you and means it, when she thanks you and means it, imagine then putting ONE FOOT in her boundary circle, but keep the OTHER FOOT squarely in your own invisible, imaginary circle around your feet.
Now when she is NOT grateful for you, REFUSES to celebrate you, or celebrate victories WITH you, remove BOTH FEET from her boundary circle, and be good to YOURSELF.
Go out and really live it up with some male friends. Look in the mirror and THANK YOURSELF for all you do for everyone you know.
Continue to do this so long as she behaves without gratitude and celebration.
Only two things can possibly happen, and you have to be ready for them:
• She will see how much fun you are having, how high your self-esteem is, and she might stop and think for a moment, realizing that she is the one who needs to get with the program, stop being a wet-blanket, and learn some respect and gratitude (or will lose you.)
• She will keep doing what she always does, but you will get strong, strong, strong. You may eventually break up, or she might be the one, but either way, you will get strong...
...and get the celebration and gratitude you need. Only YOU will be the one to do them and feel them.
This exercise strengthens your ability to stand on your own two feet, which you need to do ANYWAY in a relationship that will last. Might as well start working with BOUNDARY CIRCLES right NOW
Paul Dobransky, M.D. is a board-certified psychiatrist, public speaker and relationship expert who has treated more than 10,000 patients in 15+ years in clinical psychiatric care. Journalists and clients worldwide have sought Dr. Paul's advice on dating, relationships and all aspects of human psychology.
Dr. Paul pioneered MindOS, a new, patent-pending approach to understanding relationships, mood problems and stress. MindOS synthesizes all schools of therapy into a single, effective system-based approach that uses plain language to help people understand psychology and solve problems. Go to http://www.menspsychology.com/ to learn more.