Divorce. Whoever thought it would be happening to you? To most people, there was no way that this was happening to them. What ever happened to till death do us part?
Tame the Pain of Divorce
There are many ways to cope with the pain of divorce - no one way works for everyone. Luckily, there are a few common steps. Let’s follow the story of Sara and she what she did to deal with her divorce. She used 7 steps to help guide her in those difficult days when her feelings were swirling all around - when she felt lost and abandoned.
1. Tell who you need to tell. Whether it is family, friends, coworkers, or whomever – when Sara was ready, she crafted a message for those who needed to know. She was able to deliver it in a clear, calm, and firm manner so that the message was effectively delivered and she could get through it without breaking down.
2. Find Your Friends. Sara was disappointed to discover that some friends would remain loyal to her and some would not. She found out who was on her side early on and who she could trust, so she knew where each person was coming from and if they were a potential source of support as she went through the confusing and protracted period of separation and divorce.
3. Take Care of Yourself. This was the last thing on Sara’s mind but it is more important than ever at the time of a breakup. It's important to keep it glued together by any legal means. Sara used a combination of rest, mediation, exercise, coaching, and my breakup workbook.
4. Take Stock of the Good Things. Sara still had a lot going for her including her health, faith, job, family, friends, nature, and her pet. She took stock of the good things to help her gain perspective, and then she gave thanks and granted forgiveness to herself and her mate. It might sound simple and trite, but it worked for Sara and it can work for you too.
5. Find a Stable Place to Live. Sara was able to stay in her house and make suitable financial arrangements so that she would be okay for a least a year. As her kids leave for school, she is thinking about bringing in a tenant to help defray the costs. She also might sell later, but not for a year and a half. So she has a sense of needed stability.
6. Solidify Your Finances. Sara is working, has a steady income, and will get some child support. College loans will now be on the table now when they weren’t before. But that's OK.
7. Get Support. Sara set a plan to meet with other women – some to talk about her divorce and some to never talk about it and to only have fun. She also sought out a coach to help her work through issues as they arose.
Yes, You Can Go On
If your situation is anything like Sara's, these steps might help you to cope with your divorce. When friends avoid you, it can hurt. It can feel like everyone is piling on. This is a critical time for you to begin to understand a lot of things. Widen your circle of friends to include some singles in the mix.
Whether you are on the brink of divorce, in the middle of one, or just coming out of one - there can be a very deep sense of loss. It can feel overwhelming. Be brave and get the help you need.
The Recovery Begins
When you can acknowledge the gifts in your life, your recovery can begin. Just like Sara. What gifts do you have in your life? The Bouncing Back Now Community is here to get you the help you need. Yes, it takes time, but it takes more than time. It takes tools. And I've got tools.
For a very limited time, I am offering an amazing 90-page eBook on “How to Bounce Back from a Break Up” for the super sale at http://www.BouncingbackNow.com/books
And I am planning a free teleseminar. I’m looking for your questions and comments to include in the program. Please let me know what topics you’d like to have covered and plan to be a part of it.
Just Say No to the Status Quo TM
On her website http://www.BouncingBackNow.com Donna Marie Thompson, PhD – The Bouncing Back Now Relationship Coach – is a best-selling author, a Certified Professional Coach, a Certified NLP Practitioner, and a Master Practitioner of the Energy Leadership Index. Donna Marie is listed as one of America’s Premier Experts in relationships and personal development. She was the host of the “Bouncing Back Now” TV show and the “Bouncing Back Now” radio show on the Real Coaching Radio TV network. Donna Marie has been a featured relationship expert panelist on the Living Consciously series on Denver cable TV. She has been the special guest on many radio shows and on the Brian Tracy TV Show as seen on ABC, CBS, NBC, and Fox affiliates across the country. Donna Marie is showcased on the national TV show "World's Greatest" on the ION TV network.