People who suffer from depression or have other psychological problems sometimes need to learn to set positive goals and make major changes in their lives so that they can overcome these feelings and feel better. Even if you don't have any major problems, after you experience a divorce you may need to adjust and define your goals so you can learn to improve yourself and make your life even better. This can be done by practicing some of the same techniques.
One technique is writing. Writing is a powerful tool for helping you change your life. When you write down your hopes and dreams, it solidifies them. The act of writing can make you feel more committed to your goals and is the foundation of positive change. After a divorce, the need to examine our lives is essential. It is critical to look at your situation and identify goals that are in line with being an independent individual. Goals that were established during your marriage may not make sense after the divorce.
Another technique which is similar to the one above, but should be part of every day. It is journaling. There are many creative uses for journaling. You can use your journal to keep track of your progress towards goals by writing down the steps you took towards a goal every day or writing down accomplishments on the way towards your goal. You can also use journaling to help you figure out what went wrong if you don't meet a goal and make plans for future success. You can free write or write dialogues between yourself and an imaginary person who is helping you to help you get at thoughts and feelings that are in the way of reaching your goals or to help you figure out solutions to problems. You can write down thoughts and feelings about past, present or future events to help yourself stay focused. In short, there are an infinite number of ways to journal if you want to use this tool to help you reach goals. Just use your creativity; there's no wrong way to use this tool.
A third technique is finding a trusted, professional person to work with. There are therapists, as well as life and business coaches who are available to help people reach their goals. Counselors can listen actively to your thoughts and feelings, as well as make suggestions and teach you new techniques for goal-setting. If your main purpose in seeking counseling is to get help setting and reaching goals, you might want to use a life coach or business coach rather than a therapist. Coaches are trained to help healthy people set goals and encourage them to make changes they need to make to improve their lives rather than explore past pain or negative feelings motivating unhealthy behavior. Regardless of where you are in life, you can make your life even better after your divorce. Start by deciding to improve your life and then set some goals and begin taking action to reach them. The more you succeed the more powerful and happy you'll feel.
Are you ready to move on from your divorce? If so, Lose the Stress After a Midlife Divorce, is a Better Beyond guide filled with useful strategies to transform your life right now. This information packed eBook and a surprise gift is yours FREE just for visiting www.betterbeyonddivorce.com.
Diane Adkins is a certified life coach, certified neuro-linguistic practitioner, and owner of Better Beyond Coaching Solutions, and has dedicated her life to being a Midlife Divorce Recovery Specialist helping women to start living the life they deserve after a midlife divorce.