Whether it's being late to your child's school play or missing a deadline at the office, many women feel guilty about not being able to do it all. We mentally start beating ourselves up with the would've, could've, should've This negative thinking is not healthy, it affects our emotional well-being or ourselves and those around. Overtime, it impacts our health.
So, how to eliminate guilty thoughts?
We have a tendency to hold ourselves to higher standards of perfectionism than we would our best friends. Divorced mothers even more so given they have entire household responsibilities on their shoulders. If we start accepting that we are only human the weight of the world will be lifted.
Before you start mentally beating yourself up, ask yourself if you would treat a loved one the way you treat yourself. Often times, you'll answer with 'No'; you would instead be a compassionate friend. So, why not be compassionate with yourself?
This past December, my daughter was scheduled to be in a dance performance at one of the local museums. I had written down on our calendar the correct time for us to be there. The day of the event for whatever reason, I was relying upon my memory. While driving the one hour ride to the museum I had this nagging thought in my mind and had my daughter verify the time on my Smartphone. We realized my mistake. We arrived at the show just as her dance group was going on stage. She was heart-broken and ran backstage to cry; I felt horrible for my mistake.
In the past this would have put me in a place of negativity all day about how awful of a mother I am. Instead, I did the only thing I could; walked backstage, gave my daughter a hug and tell her how sorry I am that I messed up. After a few minutes of her crying, she finally stepped back and said 'It's all right, there will be other dance shows'. We went on to have a beautiful day because I was able accept my daughter's forgiveness and let go of my mistake.
Often times, we often forget others observe how we respond to stressful situations. Family and friends may take steps to avoid us if we are showing negativity outwardly. Children learn from watching their parents on how to respond to stressful situations and grow to emulate the behavior they were taught.
Using my own life as living proof that extraordinary choices lead to an amazing life, I help others women do the same. As a divorced mother, I empower other divorcees to move out of their comfort zone and begin creating an extraordinary life for themselves and their children.
For additional information about me, please join me at www.steppingintojoy.com