One of our greatest fears and the reason most people do not ask the questions they need to ask in order to succeed, is our irrational fear of rejection. We are so terrified by the prospect of someone not accepting our request, that in most cases the most important questions go unasked. This leaves us trapped in lives, which may be less than satisfying. Yet the prospect of asking someone, who we know could mentor us and support our growth, is so daunting, that we never ask the question.
For me not asking the question is the worst kind of rejection possible, you are in effect rejecting yourself and telling yourself that you are not worthy. This belief that you are unworthy and that the person you have identified as a possible mentor for you, would not be willing to support you, is due to your consistent negative self-talk and doubt. You start every day with a pocket full of possible choices. You can choose to hold positive beliefs and think positive thoughts or you can waste your day thinking and believing negative thoughts.
The best analogy I know, to describe this irrational behaviour, where we have the choice to choose positive thoughts, which will uplift and support us, over negative thoughts, which limit and restrict our potential. Is the story of the person who is given a million dollars and sent to a shopping centre to buy fittings and furniture for an apartment.
On arriving at the first store, they look around and see the most hideous lamps for sale. After asking the price they are told they are $ 100 000 each. They hate them, but still buy two and ask for them to be delivered. On walking into the next store they see a painting, they hate, which matches the lamps they have just bought, so they enquire about the price. The sales person tells them that it costs $ 200 000. Hating the painting more than the lamps, they ask them to wrap and deliver it.
That sounds like a really ridiculous story doesn’t it. Well choosing to run your life by choosing only negative thoughts and holding negative beliefs about yourself is as ridiculous. If you would never buy two lamps and a painting you hate and ask for them to be delivered to your home, then why do you allow yourself to think negative, damaging thoughts, which restrict and limit your potential? Asking for these to be delivered every day as the foundation for creating your future?
The type of thoughts you choose to think is always a choice. Are you going to make better choices from this moment on and no longer allow your mind to walk down the path of negativity? You get to choose, stop inviting negative thoughts, which you do not want, to be delivered throughout your day. Start to make wiser choices and invite only positive thoughts to be delivered throughout your day. Positive thoughts uplift and empower you, whilst negative thoughts restrict and limit you.
Getting back to the concept of rejection, I do not believe that there is such a thing as rejection. Before you ask a question, you do not have what you want. If the person declines your request you still do not have what you wanted, nothing has changed. If however you ask a question and the person accepts your request. Then things change, now you have what you wanted; now things are different. There is therefore no such thing as rejection, which is one of our greatest fears; there is only acceptance and support.
Action Idea: Explore your world and find all those questions, which have gone unasked. Make a list of all these questions and armed with the knowledge that there is no such thing as rejection, only acceptance and support. Begin to approach all the people on your list and ask them the questions you know will accelerate you success. What have you got to lose?
Andrew is an expert and master teacher that speaks and teaches self-leadership, expanded awareness, effectiveness, efficiency and productivity. He guides individuals and business professionals, to identify, prioritise and carry out the right activities, consistently, so that they can maximise their personal effectiveness and deliver their best; on time, every time. All the tools and techniques Andrew teaches; have been tested in the laboratory of his own life and the many successful businesses he has owned and led, over the past 20 years. These strategies have seen Andrew achieve financial independence and reach a point of harmonious balance in all areas of his life. His purpose is to help as many people as possible, achieve similar or better results and to show them how they can realise their full potential, both personal and professionally and to help them live a meaningful life, where they are fulfilled in all areas. http://www.andrewhorton.co.za