Fear Versus Faith

I finished writing my first book not too long ago. I found it difficult identifying what my expectations were since I’ve never done this before. The entire process of getting the book in print and to being in your hands was an emotional roller coaster. I had to keep reminding myself “process Ken, remember process.” At times it seemed like every step of the way was a challenge. The lack of faith questions that I kept asking were: “Why this?” or ‘What now?”

The faith-based question that I needed to be asking more was “How does God want me to use this experience?” I reference Roman 8:28, a scripture that I use as one of my spiritual “rocks” when I’m challenged. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Most of the setbacks were followed by a blessing. For example, the first major setback was the initial book order. The books were bound defectively. Because of that delay, I received some marketing wisdom from a friend. God used this delay to enhance my marketing efforts.

I learned a lot during this journey. I became more aware of how fears enter into everything that we do, even the things that are good and positive in our lives. Most everything I attempted was new. Bruce Perry says that the amygdala codes all new experiences as fear until deemed otherwise. There were several situations that it took my system forever to deem the new experience “otherwise.” It’s normal to experience fear in new situations. The challenge is to not live there. That is hard when you are experiencing situation after situation that triggers fear. Fear challenges our faith. I found myself constantly having to re-affirm my faith and speak faith words into my life.

The fear that we experience doesn’t have to be the paralyzing fear we experience from trauma and abuse. The fear I experienced seemed like a little cloud that was always following me around. It was there to exacerbate any other fears that I experienced. It was there to constantly put a little bit of doubt into everything I attempted. It made many familiar tasks seem a little bit bigger. It made other familiar tasks seem a lot bigger than they actually were. It ever so subtly shrunk my window of tolerance. However, most of all I believe it was responsible for either stealing my joy or deluding it. Satan takes advantage of any cracks in your faith. He is relentless. John 10:10 – “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.”

There are endless stories about faith in the Bible. I was following some daily devotions on e-Sword during this time. The focus was on waiting on the Lord, faith, and grace. Again, God supplied me with the Scriptures I needed at the time I needed them. I didn’t even have to do a search. I just printed them off of my computer. Waiting on the Lord: Isaiah encourages those who wait on the Lord. Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. Isaiah 40:31; 8:17; 25:9.

Another one of Isaiah’s encouragements comes in conjunction with God’s promise to give power to the weak. Isaiah 40:29; 40:31. Faith: By faith, Moses called God’s people to apply the blood of the Passover lamb that they might be delivered from the judgment that was to befall Egypt. Hebrews 11:28 - “by faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of blood, lest he who destroyed the firstborn should touch them.”

Then, Moses led the people out of Egypt, eventually passing through the Red Sea, by faith. Grace: Romans 5:17 - “For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ.” That’s a mouthful. My little theological mind tells me that God’s grace gives us what we need each day to do what God would have us to do. I have the power to do anything in God’s will. I like the simple version from Phillipians 4:13 - “I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.”

My book experience will continue to be a faith builder. I am more aware of how God orchestrates all the details in my life. The process of A to Z has 24 letters in-between. There is another 26 letters if you include the capitals as well as the lower-case letters. We need to keep our eyes on the goal Z, i.e., Heaven.

However, we need to be mindful of the letters in between A and Z. These letters represent us building relationships on our journey. If we miss the letters in between, then we miss out on the blessings. We all do our part in each other’s lives. We are responsible for sowing seeds. We are not responsible for the harvest.

Each of you had a part in my book journey. From prayer warriors to therapists who gave books to their clients, I thank you for your support of this project that was so close to my heart. I could not do any of this as an individual, but with God’s strength, I was able to persevere in this very fearful project in my life.

Remember, relationship is the key. Keep your oxytocin flowing, connect in relationship, sow seeds of love, and watch God work.