Healing from ME: Coming to Terms with an ME Diagnosis

In a recent article, I wrote about the early stages of ME. At this stage, it is very common (and completely understandable) to experience a lot of fear, confusion and loss of confidence. And an ME diagnosis from an established authority like a medical doctor can be really affirming - and can make us feel that we are not going mad. The internal chaos in our body and mind has been validated by a professional who knows what they are talking about.

Receiving an ME diagnosis can relieve a lot of fear and anxiety, and it can free up mental space that was caught up in wondering what was going on. I believe this freed up mental space can give us the chance to come to terms with our ME diagnosis, and to accept that we have a serious health condition. I believe that acceptance of our condition is a necessary step on the healing journey.

Often before people receive an ME diagnosis, there can be a tendency to be in denial. People can oscillate between being overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the symptoms they are feeling, and the related "out of control" emotions, and on the other hand can almost hide away in denial, not wanting to face the reality of what is going on. Receiving the ME diagnosis can mean that we have the time and space to come to terms with what is happening for us.

This of course has its own challenges. Typically, once the relief of receiving an ME diagnosis has passed, people will then enter a time of struggling with the diagnosis, questioning it, feeling a victim ("why me?"), and also identifying with the diagnosis. I remember all the elements of this phase really clearly. I would oscillate wildly, battling with the diagnosis, and feeling powerless - why was my life so hard when everyone else was managing seemingly so easily? One day, I would believe I could "conquer" the illness, whatever it took, and the next day I would be collapsed and passive, resigned to my fate.

At the same time, I began to take on the identity of a person who has received an ME diagnosis. I would read up about the symptoms, and think it was "normal" that I had them, I would read about other people's stories, and my friends would also tell me about people they knew with ME. In short, I began to over-identify with my condition.

After a while, however, I noticed that the extremes of oscillation had begun to "settle down". I was no longer seeing myself as a passive victim of a strange and inexplicable phenomenon called "ME", nor was I blaming myself for having "got" this illness. Rather, I had a realistic view of the reasons that most likely contributed to me having this illness, and I accepted that that was where I was in my life.

For me, this was quite a peaceful time. No longer struggling with my symptoms, and yet at the same time not giving into them and giving them a lot of power over my thoughts and feelings, I was able to just enjoy the things in life that were still pleasurable to me.

I had come them to a place of acceptance - a place that I believe it is necessary to come to before the next stage of healing can happen.In a futher article I will look at how we can move from a place of accepting where we are to beginning to transform limiting beliefs around illness and symptoms.

If you have an ME diagnosis, or believe you may have ME, and you resonate with what I am writing here, then take a look at my website, to see how I work with clients who are suffering from this debilitating condition.