Too often, people with handicaps live their life just to survive. This happens to people when their focus is on what is wrong, but that is not the only focus a handicapped person can have. It is possible to find a peaceful center within you. When you focus there, it is easy to ignore the thoughts that bother you about your handicap. In fact, when you focus on that center, even the handicapped person is transported into a tranquil experience and can have fun.
There are 2 kinds of goals that a person who wants to have fun needs to consider: First, we need to have an idea of what we want to do. This is an 'accomplishing goal.' Your accomplishing goals are created in your thinking mind. This is what you want to accomplish. Second, we need to desire an experience. This is an 'experiential goal.'
In order to lead a full, productive life and to include qualities like having fun or being in love, you need to have experiential goals. Experiential goals are truly unlimited. Your experience can deepen or be misdirected by associations. This can be a distraction if ego's input is considered the most important thing, even more valuable than life itself.
I once worked with a handicapped person going on a vacation cruise. Two months before their vacation date, he got sick, which put a real question on his ability to accomplish his goals. He called the cruise line to see if he could reschedule and they told him he would lose 75%. He immediately discounted that option and started to focus on changing his experiential goals. He needed to have the experience of stepping back from his illness and being able to interpret it from a clear state of mind.
At that time, his experiential goals were either "Do I feel good enough to go?" or "Do I not?" When he found he could not change his departure date or his set accomplishing goal, he had to change his experience and interpret it from a different consciousness. As we talked, we found that it was old conditioned habits that immediately connected him to thoughts and actions that didn’t serve him.
For instance, when he got sick, he immediately thought of going to a doctor, but that was limited in the short time he had. When those habits were triggered, there was no choice. In this situation, the only choice he had was to change the experience from which he viewed his possible vacation. When he stepped back from his illness, he had the possibility of changing his interpretation. This required him to focus on experiential goals as well as the accomplishing goals.
His accomplishing goal now was to re-own his original plans and depart as scheduled. His experiential goal now was to create a state of mind where he could step back from his accomplishing goal and view his trip with a happy spirit and a willingness to have a good time. As a handicapped vacationer, this simple adjustment allowed him to go on his vacation without changing his illness or the cruise date. This is something a handicap vacation often requires.
The accomplishing goals have the highest potential for disappointment. Do you want to have a good time, do you want to accomplish something or do you want both? Being focused only on the thoughts of what you want to accomplish is the cause of disappointments. How you relate to and focus on your thoughts is the way you can control disappointments. All you have to do is be conscious of what thoughts you are aware of. If you are focused on thoughts that limit you, trigger a new focus.
You do not have to be a victim to your past conditioning. You have the ability to consciously condition your brain to create the habits mentioned above. When you are connected to upsetting thoughts, your brain creates limiting experiences. For a handicapped person to have fun, you need to be able to control what you focus on.
If you are dealing with a health challenge, not controlling disappointments can limit your immune system and make your handicaps worse. Every disappointment has the potential to shut your immune system down to some extent. The quality of life does not depend on the health of your body; it depends on your focus. I recommend the handicapped vacationer to take a serious look at their focus. This clarifies your goal and reinforces your focus. The simple statement of your focus is to have a good time, so create the state of mind that gives you that.
© 2012 Marc Lerner and Life Skills Institute
Marc Lerner, an MS patient since 1981, enjoys having fun. He wrote the book, A Healthy Way to be Sick and hosted a radio show of the same name. Go to: http://lifeskillsinc.com to listen to the archived radio shows and view his work. This article deals with the obstacles handicapped people deal with on vacations.
Marc Lerner is the President of Life Skills Institute and has been working with people in a health struggle since 1982. He is the author of A HEALTHY WAY TO BE SICK, which teaches you how to consciously create yourself in the midst of a health challenge. He also conducts tele-seminars that lead you through the main techniques of this book, where you will do over 20 experiential techniques on your own to support the main techniques.
Marc has had MS since 1981, is legally blind and in a wheelchair. The idea of a healthy way to be sick reflects a positive spirit during difficult times. If a patient consciously approached the healing process, they would become valuable partners with their doctor. Marc has been working with people in a health crisis for decades and knows that this is a significant resource in a national health plan. Marc has developed simple techniques that transport your consciousness to powerful inner resources which can reduce medical expenses and personal anxiety.
Marc Lerner and Life Skills Institute is open to network with other people dealing with health challenges or any challenge you cannot control. Marc can adapt the Life Skills Approach to meet any challenge. Struggles have one incredible quality; if you approach them consciously, they can force you to grow.
Go to: http://lifeskillsinc.com to view his work and listen to archived radio shows. Go to: http:// Amazon.com/A HealthyWaytobe Sick to download his book.