“When it comes to The Truth, all of us are liars.” (sayings by lp)
Truth can never be measured in absolute terms of truth-y-ness (yup, I just made that up).
Truth is relative … it’s not absolute. What is unquestionably true for any one individual or group is often questionable to another.
Just ask Republicans and Democrats. They can look at the exact same evidence and use it to support their own version of The Truth. Which is just their way of saying what they believe to be true.
You might ask, “How does this happen?” Well, chalk it up to the fact that GrayBall the Brain (aka, your brain) is a meaning making machine. It’s constantly evaluating situations and circumstances to assess what they might mean.
When we're children, these meanings are almost exclusively about who we are, and our relationship to the world around us. These meanings later come to shape the Truths we come to live by . . . in other words, our beliefs.
Unfortunately, all this is taking place at a time when Brain is woefully lacking in “executive function,” not to mention life experience. It’s not able to assess whether any given meaning is healthy or toxic. Keep in mind that it’s essentially making the meaning up in the first place. And the meaning it's making up? That's what makes this so crazy - because it's no more true than any other meaning it could be making up, if only it knew to make it.
Are you beginning to see the problem here?
But wait . . . it gets even crazier. Because once GrayBall makes up a meaning, it then looks for evidence to support it, which it then uses as a way to ‘make true’ its meaning.
So, although we might think that our beliefs are founded on evidence, it’s really the other way around. We believe something is true; therefore, we see evidence that it is. There’s a saying, “If you walk through the world with a hammer, you’ll find a lot of nails.”
Did you catch the fundamental flaw in all of this?
That’s right … Brain doesn’t look for counter-examples that don’t support it’s meaning. Like a heat seeking missile; it’s only looking for what it’s looking for … never what it’s not.
And, because it didn’t look for counter evidence to begin with, it will never look for it in the future. That’s why people continue to carry a felt belief that they are not capable, or good enough, or (fill in the blank) even after accumulating of a ton of life experience (evidence) to the contrary.
GrayBall makes up the meaning, finds the evidence, and then convinces itself that the meaning it only made up in the first place is - in fact - the only possible Truth. Ultimately creating a situation in which no other meaning can then exist.
And if that’s not crazy, I don’t know what is.
This is why it’s nearly impossible to have a sensible discussion about what’s True and what’s Not True. And it also explains why it’s a futile endeavor to try to talk someone out of a belief… especially when it comes to themselves. GrayBall has tricked them into believing that what they think about themselves is verifiably true.
So depending on how you look at it, unfortunately, there is no Truth-o-Meter. There’s no way to measure absolute Truth.
But fortunately, there’s something we can measure. And that’s the result any particular Truth has on our lives.
Simply stated, we can measure the consequences of holding onto a belief. Rather than focusing on whether or not something is True, we can ask whether it was ever useful to believe it in the first place.
That’s why I am always more interested in the consequences of a Truth over its relative truth-y-ness. One I can measure. The other? Well, it just starts arguments.
So here’s a challenge for you.
What Truths are operating in your life? What do you think is true about you?
And, more importantly, what do these truths cost you in terms of happiness, fulfillment, passion, enthusiasm, or optimism? Are they supporting your success or are they undermining it?
Because if your Truths are questionable, the results of hanging on to ones that don’t support you are not.
So pick one. Truth? … or … Consequences?
Co-Founder and Partner at Mindopoly Center for Change, offering personal and professional changework, training, coaching and consulting services. Mindopoly Center for Change is a full service partnership, working with individuals, couples and within organizations to facilitate change. Our goal is to empower our clients to not only reach their goals but to exceed them. Our team is fully Certified in the areas of Neurolinguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy, Ericksonian Hypnosis, Symbolic Modeling, Metaphors in Movement (MoM), Integral Eye Movement Therapy (IEMT), Core Transformations, Keirsey Temperament Testing, Provocative/Conversational and Quantum Linguistics and ChangeWork as well as Personal/Professional Coaching, with over 40 years of combined experience in the fields of human and corporate development.