“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” Jim Rohn.
When everything is going smoothly, being resilient is probably not on your radar. Yet when the proverbial sh*&t hits the fan, we assume our resilient toolbox will be available and full. Taking the time to hone resilience skills is similar to practicing driving, before you actually take the driving test.
Once you acknowledge what shape your self-esteem and self-care are in, you can put into place the philosophy and practices that will build up your resilience. Thus reestablishing the synergy that often proceeds opportunities.
If you are reading this article, you may already be deep within a transition period. We know being in transition can task and overwhelm even the strongest most willful individual. Take a few minutes and see if there is an idea you can steal from below and integrate into your own life cycle.
Creating a Resilient Toolbox.
The first 2 traits mentioned below happen to coincide with the traits mentioned in the Harvard Business Review article (HBS, November, 2011) “What Great Companies Do Differently.” In this case, what is good for the individual is good for the masses.
1. Values & Purpose
Identity is often the first trait that takes a hit during upheaval. Along with knick knacks and old files, the identity that goes with a job loss is usually packed away too.
Acknowledging your values and aligning them with your purpose is vital to feed your new mission and reconnect with your true identity.
In order to align with values and strengths you first need to identify them. You can use complementary surveys such as the VIA Survey of Character Strengths, or Brief Strengths Test, located at http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/Default.aspx .
Or, start by writing your mission statement. Make it compelling by writing explicitly, stimulating your sense of desire and heart. Then distill it down to discern and capture your integral values.
2. Trust people and rely on relationships
First and foremost, TRUST YOURSELF. If you have been laid off from a job, it’s common to experience self-doubt along with some shifts in relationships. Some shifts may come as a surprise. Take some space as needed. Implement self-care to instill calmness and feel more grounded.
Reach out. You don’t need research to tell you (but it is there) that writing it out, or talking it through, is therapeutic.
Establish an environment of good camaraderie. There are many local groups that offer networking for specific purposes, groups for people in career transition, parents re-entering the workforce, etc.
3. A Flexible Mind - Stay Open To Opposite Opinions
They say that opportunity may not come from the direction you are looking in, or in the form or manner you expect.
In conversing with a mentor, I was provided a suggestion that appeared to be the opposite of how I was approaching a situation. I felt angry as if this person had not been listening. Luckily, I was able to sit back and reflect on this new idea before discarding it. And yes, I discovered the pearl in the sand.
You want different - dare to break out of your own perception. Allow yourself to be open to new ideas.
4. ADDITIONAL RESILIENCE TOOLS
Tracking Insights - Use a Day Book/Journal to keep track of ideas, things that capture your attention and inspire you. Writing and re-reading enables you to track themes that would otherwise go unrecognized. The power of observation is just about everything!
I happened to jot down some information about a trip I was interested in and a few weeks later was talking about a possible opportunity. This was not the trip I mentioned earlier, and had I not been tracking themes, would have missed how this event could serve a similar purpose.
Belief – Believing you have the ability to reach your goals is important, but so is believing you can get the ability. This can enable you to take difficulties in stride and appreciate the journey on the way to the destination.
From my experience listening to hundreds if not thousands of people - belief and hope can create magic.
Creativity - Create a theme for this obstacle or transition and write it in positive terms. Find ways to play with this present experience, express joy and positivity for you.
In Summary
Remember we are human beings not human doings. Working on the traits of resiliency mentioned in this article: values and purpose, trust, a flexible mind, tracking insights, belief and creativity serve you for a lifetime.
Beth Tunis, MA, LMFT. She is a Professional and Personal Coach and Psychotherapist. She has worked from Malibu to Manhattan. Beth can be reached through beth@aworkinglifecoach.com.