The quality of our marriage impacts every part of our lives.
When there is stress and strife in a relationship, we lose motivation, focus and
even self-respect.
To achieve happy, healthy life-success, you need to be in positive, harmonious relationships.
When an important relationship is going well, you feel free to focus your full power into achieving the goals in life that are most important to you.
But relationship problems fester and our emotions enter turbulence and we become mentally distracted.
Marital conflict causes the spouses to lose their power to be as successful as possible in every area of their lives, including parenting their children, performing at work, and getting along with others.
So we need to develop the emotional resilience to be able to handle those challenging relationship periods without losing our power to succeed.
Relationship-experiences can be wonderfully fulfilling, but we have to avoid becoming overly emotionally dependent upon being in a harmonious relationship.
While it is virtually impossible to bring our best to work when we are going through a painful relationship difficulty, we can develop our emotional stability, which increases our ability to stay focused, motivated and productively engaged in our work.
One way to develop emotional strength is by becoming very clear about what you want to accomplish in life, including your relationship goals.
Work on your mental focus a daily basis by thinking deliberately about your life goals, including your ideal relationship. Make a list of what you want to achieve professionally, your health and fitness goals, your life-style goals, your married life dream. Then spend some time envisioning yourself successfully accomplishing each of those goals.
Each time you intentionally focus your mind on what you want to achieve, your power of mental focus grows stronger. You will not only grow increasingly clear about and committed to the goals you want to achieve in life, you will find yourself capable of focusing on those goals when personal relationship problems arise; you will be less distracted by interpersonal conflict and better able to keep your creative energy working on creating the life you want.
Simply focusing on something you desire, rather than on the relationship difficulties that you desire to be free of is an effective "success secret" for creating the satisfying results in life that you long for.
Mentally churning and worrying about a marital problem is really just a habitual reaction that you can gradually overcome by developing your power of mental focus, and thus more quickly and easily create the life you really want.
REMEMBER THAT FOCUSING ON RELATIONSHIP DISSATISFACTION DOES NOTHING TO SOLVE A RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
You are the creator of your circumstances. The circumstances you experience, including the state of your most important relationship, is a MENTAL condition that you emotionally react to.
If you don't believe this, notice what you are thinking about when you feel emotionally disturbed by something that your mate has done. You are thinking of your mate doing what you feel disturbed by. You are living in a mental movie of a bad relationship experience.
As you develop mastery of your power of mental vision, you can redirect your thoughts from draining and disheartening relationship strife, into visions of relationship success.
When it comes to solving relationship problems, you actually sabotage relationship success when you anxiously fret about the relationship.
You need to feel basically calm and secure to come up with solutions. Simply focusing on working on other areas of your life can give you time to gain freedom from overly stressful efforts to control your relationship out of fear.
You must be feeling positive, secure and confident to leave contentious conflict and live in companionship compatibility.
The next time that you feel the stress of relationship strife, use it as an opportunity to exercise, and thereby to develop, the mental mastery of directing your mind AWAY from the inharmonious relationship vision and into a vision of your success and happiness.
Let go of thoughts that feed feelings of anxiety. Focus your attention INTENTIONALLY on your visions of successful relationships, or success in any other area of your life.
Little by little you will feel calmer, more confident, and focused. You will more rapidly advance toward your important life-goals, enjoy a calm and secure, even encouraged frame of mind, and leave the drain of relationship strife behind.
Bob Lancer has been guiding couples into more loving, satisfying relationships for decades. He does this through his Breakthrough Marriage Counseling as well as his inspirational keynotes and instructive motivational seminars on marriage success and relationship building. His empowering relationship CD's proved couples with powerful relationship wisdom and solutions and sell worldwide. His book, The Soulmate Process, has been published in the U.S. and overseas, and has been hailed as a true guide to finding the love of your life. For more information see http://www.thebestmarriageadvice.com