One of the hardest things for some people to do is to accept the blame for something they did, as in admit they made a mistake. This has to do with authenticity, with being honest with yourself, and with your self-esteem. Perfectionists have the hardest time owning up to a mistake; in fact they would think that way, "owning
up," as if there were something terrible to confess.
The fact of the matter is we're all human and we all make mistakes.
People with high self-esteem self-correct easily. They don't focus on "blaming someone," which includes themselves. They apologize, if necessary, which is not a reflection on anyone, and set about correcting the situation.
Most of us are involved in team work these days at work and at home. If a project fails, it's best to postpone "blame," and just keep moving forward. Afterwards you can process where the weak links in the chain were. Often it's miscommunication or lack of help. People
misunderstood what they were supposed to do, or didn't have the help or tools necessary for the job.
True leaders think the way Hall of Fame football coach Bear Bryant did. When asked how he held a team together (which is your job at work and at home, incidentally), he said, "There's just three things I'd ever say: 'If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, then we did it. If anything goes real good, then you did
it. That's all it takes to get people to win football games for you.'"
Recommended reading: "The Blame Game," by Scott Wetzler:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060930292/susandunnmome-20
Susan Dunn, M.A., The EQ Coach, offers individual coaching and Internet courses on emotional intelligence, strengths, resilience and midlife transition. Visit her on the web at www.susandunn.cc and mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine.