Are You Heart Smart?

Are You Heart Smart?
How to Enhance Your Emotional Quotient

By Michelle L. Casto

You don’t have to be Albert Einsten to be smart, although having a high IQ has been associated with being intelligent. Having a high IQ means that you are “head smart.” If you have a high IQ, you are good with book knowledge, including theories, facts, figures, etc. There is another way to be smart though, and that is called Emotional Intelligence.

There is a perfect balance between your head and heart because thought generates emotion which leads to motion (action). A truly smart person has learned how to edit their thoughts (replacing negative thoughts with positive ones) and how to manage his or her emotions. When our thoughts are positive, our feelings are high, and our actions follow suit.

In the past decade, the idea of being “heart smart” has come to our awareness, in that we now realize how beneficial it is to also have a high Emotional Quotient. People with high EQ are what you would call emotionally mature. They handle themselves and others with finesse, possess excellent interpersonal communication skills, can deal with conflict and people from diverse backgrounds, and basically are able to manage their emotions.

When it comes to career success, you need both! I have always said that IQ will get you the job, and EQ you will keep you the job. You need to know how to technically do the job, and equally important is how to effectively get along with other human beings. Just being a braniac will no longer get you the promotions. In today’s world of work, you have to learn to work with others in a team, be flexible in your dealings with others, and be able to bounce back from conflict or other “messy situations.” In actuality, with the popular team approach to interviewing, a company who has two candidates with basically the same education and experience backgrounds will choose the person who seems to be a better organizational “fit” or team player, the one with the glowing personality.

Let’s face it, we are drawn to people we like and respect.

The same is true for relationships, some people just have the knack for winning over people with their positive attitude and understanding nature. I am sure you can think of someone who is very beautiful (or handsome) who can’t seem to find a date. This is often due to the fact that they haven’t cultivated their inner beauty as much as they have their exterior beauty. They can be so self-centered, that they neglect the needs of others in their relationships.

It is important to understand how your emotions work. Emotions are ever-changing; one moment you are experiencing happiness or joy, and the next, pain or fear. The challenge is not to let your emotions overtake you like a tidal wave. Try to think of your emotions like waves rolling in and out of a peaceful beach. They come in and go out again, easily flowing, with no reason to get attached to any one wave in particular. You can simply be with your feelings as they arise without getting your feathers ruffled, or worse yet taken out to sea to where the storm is raging.

There are four ways you can instantly enhance your EQ. The first is to be authentic—to be who you really are and love that person with all your heart. The next is to become a conscious communicator---taking care in the words you use, listening more than you speak, and asking really powerful and empowering questions. The third is to know your personal value system and to live by it, aligning who you are and what you do. The final way is a byproduct of the others and that is adding value. When you live authentically, strive to communicate effectively, and honor what is most important to you, you become a person of high quality and character, and that naturally adds value.

Albert Einstein himself has been quoted, “Try not to become a person of success but rather try to become a person of value.” People of character are often not concerned with external motivators such as success, fame, or money, rather they strive for connection, love, and peace. Just think of people in your life you admire, those you would like to emulate because of who they are and how they handle themselves. Who do you respect and genuinely like? These are your role models for who you can aspire to become.