Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?

People of two opposing ideas can stir up argumentsand fights. It's that situation when one thinkshe has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion. Both of themwould try to outsmart each other until one claimsvictory.

Here's an actual example.

My girlfriend Riza would sometimes buy me signatureclothing. When my Mom founds out how much it costs, she would advise us to budget our money and just buy the affordable ones.

A problem occurs when Riza thinks that her effortto give me the best was unappreciated. Mom, onthe other hand, would think that Riza is such a spender.

There's a conflict with their beliefs. No two people are exactly alike. We are totally unique; not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

There will be many times when your opinion will notcorrespond with that of another. So how can peopleprevent this kind of conflict from occurring?

Communication is the key to overcome doubts and misunderstandings.

You should let other people know what's in your mind.Don't keep them guessing.

There was a story about two couples who were filinga divorce. After the lawyer have spoken to themboth, he found out that the root cause of all theirproblems was due to miscommunication.

Here's one of the couple's problems.

The man filing the divorce said that he just hatedthe breakfast meal that his wife often prepared forhim. On the other hand, the wife said that she'sonly preparing the meal because she thought it was her husband's favorite. But she never liked cookingit because it's very difficult to prepare.

See? If only one of them took the initiative tospeak out what's in his or her mind, then thatparticular dilemma would be over.

Now why would people prefer to keep their complaintsand criticisms to themselves? What's holding themback?

It's because they do not want to be rejected. Most,people, if not all, would like to be accepted and to be perceived as likeable in the eyes of others.

So can you get your message across without hurting their feelings?

Substitute negative statements with positive ones.

Instead of saying "You don't understand," say "Letme explain." Instead of remarking "You're wrong,"say "Permit me to clarify." Instead of stating"You failed to say," just mention "Perhaps this was not stated."

There are certain words that affect a person morenegatively in comparison with other words that havethe same meaning.

Nothing could be more pleasing to the ear than hearing someone else say that you are right. In this case, be prepared to let other people know that you respect their opinions. You may add your comments at the end, but acknowledge them first.

Say:
You're right, although ...
Great suggestion, however ...
I agree with your opinion, however ...
I would feel the same way if I were you, although ...
I understand your situation, however ...

Reassure your counterparts that the decision made will benefit both parties. People need to feel that they have made the right choice.

Communication is a gift. Use it wisely for everyone's advantage.