I’m a barber with no hair, and the oddity of it is such that it seems to startle people into saying something. So, regularly, there is someone who – in jest – comments about my bald head. Generally, it’s in the form of, “You’re not going to cut my hair like yours, are you?” And, I usually laugh along with the customer.
I’ve had plenty of time to get used to being bald and to references to it. I started losing my hair when I was sixteen. Instead of waiting until I was old and then turning gray, my hair simply decided to turn loose, leaving only fringe around the sides. What hair I have on the sides is very thin, so I shave my head with a safety razor every few days for a neater appearance. That’s the whole story. Whew, it feels so good to finally come clean.
As you might suspect from what I just said, when I speak as The Barber-osopher I often joke about my appearance. I tell audiences that the reason for my appearance is that when I first started professional speaking I was concerned about my effectiveness. So, I prayed for a clear head. I’m really not sensitive about the matter. However, I am sensitive about insensitivity and rudeness.
I’ve often wondered why those who would refrain from calling attention to other physical characteristics of folks feel no sense of restraint when it comes to baldness. Strangers, or people I hardly know, often ask all sorts of personal questions. For instance, a stranger, who was sincerely trying to be sympathetic, walked up to Sherry and me in the San Antonio International Airport and asked if I was undergoing chemotherapy. Can you imagine this same person asking an obese person if he has a thyroid problem or how how long he has been obese, if anyone else in his family is obese, if he has ever considered doing something about his obesity? Yet, it is very common for a bald man to be asked similar questions.
As I’ve said, I’m very comfortable with my appearance. It’s me! What makes me very uncomfortable is any thoughtless or unkind reference to another’s appearance. Unkind references might even include nicknames based upon appearance such as “Slick,” “Slim,” “Shorty,” “Red” or “Curly” unless the person indicates that is what he wants to be called. In business, and all other relationships, these or like references pose huge relational risks. And, remember, an awkward laugh from the recipient might simply be his or her way of masking resentment.
BARBER-OSOPHY: If you think it might be rude or offensive, DON’T ask it or say it.
Copyright 1997, Terry L. Sumerlin.
Permission is granted to reprint this article as long as a link to www.barber-osophy.com is included.
Terry L. Sumerlin, known as the Barber-osopher, is the author of "A HUMAN BECOMING - A Life Changing Voyage," and is a columnist for the San Antonio Business Journal. He speaks nationally as a humorist/motivational speaker. Visit his website at www.Barber-osophy.com.