Have you always wondered why do kids resist their parents even though they have their interests at heart? This happens to me when I am young. I find that I am attracted towards my friends and buddies in schools than towards my mentors, teachers or even my parents.
I never really explored the reasons why, until recently, and this important realization can be applied to any kinds of human relationships. Years of being in a relationship with my partner has made me realized that more often than not, my reality is not HIS reality (the same goes to men). Conflicts, arguments, quarrrels, misunderstanding and disagreements often come about if neither party in a couple relationship understand this. Now, what can we do to understand, or even, to get into his/her reality?
Everyone of us, whether you are a man or woman, need to feel genuinely needed and understood. I find that I can create a better relationship with my mate just by creating a sense that he (she) is being understood, by echoing his thoughts back to him! Yes, you may disagree with your partner's beliefs and thoughts; but always remember this. His/Her reality is NOT your reality at times, many times! When my partner learn I think just like he does he feel validated and soon attraction and connection begin to develop.
Kids are very often attracted to particular groups of friends; and these are not just any kinds of friends. These are friends who truly understand them and accept them for who they are. They satisfied their most precious need, the need to feel validated and needed. If you realize your kids, or even your partner, has changed or transformed drastically in his lifestyle or even his character, loves to hang out with some particular groups of people, or even suddenly abandoning a particular way of life for another, the reason is often nothing more than the person finally able to find someone who will notice him (her) and accept him for who he is.
This need is what made us feel normal, and human.
If you have problems making a connection with your partner, or even reading his/her mind, understand that you don't have to be a psychic for doing so. The secret is to learn the art of paying highly focused attention to the other person. This is the secret shared by many writers or speakers who often have to speak on stage to large groups of audience. They are able to create the sense that their audience is understood by echoing their thoughts back to them!
I once attended a seminar where the speaker shared with us his secret of success on stage and how he had been able to capture the attention of so many people quickly and certainly. He said, "Ask them what they want you to tell them; and tell them what they have told you!"
If you cannot get "into" their reality (and get this, it is not necessary to do so even though being able to do so is definitely an advantage to you), realize that nothing is more compelling to a person than having someone totally focused on and intently listening to them.
We can't resist the people who are really "into" us! We can't help it. What most of us want is to feel needed and validated! Would you like to know the secret to makeing yourself resistible to your lover, your partner, or even to your friends, in all your personal relationships? Here is your tip for the day. People need to feel genuinely needed and understood.
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