What is detachment

Count the number of times you got emotionally involved in something against your will and better judgment. How many times have you got angry, frustrated or disappointed? How many times have your moods swung high and low? Each time you told yourself that next time you will stay cool, and yet each time you forget what you said.

Life is like this. When it comes to your personal affairs, it is hard for you to be indifferent. You get involved, and this is quite natural, otherwise life would have been boring. Involvement makes life ticking and active.

Detachment is being cool and uninvolved on the emotional level. It is definitely not indifference. Indifferent people do not care, do not mind, and are not active and initiative. On the other hand, a detached person can be very active and caring, though he accepts calmly whatever happens.

If he cannot do or change something, it does not disturb his peace of mind. On the other hand, if he needs to do something, he will pursue it whole-heartedly. He will do everything needed to succeed. If it does not work out, he stays calm, and will either try again, or forget the matter easily and move to something else.

Every spiritual tradition speaks about detachment, but detachment cannot be confined only to spirituality. Detachment is important in daily life, in pursuit of ambitions, and on the spiritual path. It is of great importance to everyone, whether pursuing spirituality or material success.

Let me give you two examples of detachment, one on the spiritual path, and the other in daily ordinary life. A person who engages in meditation tries to quieten his mind during meditation and in his everyday life. If he gets emotionally involved with his thoughts, he follows them, forgets about his meditation and concentration, and loses his peace of mind.

On the other hand, the more detached he is, the easier it is for him to ignore disturbing thoughts. Detachment helps him to stay collected and concentrated.

When someone says to you something you do not like, you may become disappointed, angry, or feel down. Why is it so? Because you value other's people words and opinions, more than you value your thoughts and opinions of yourself. You let other's people thoughts, words and actions influence your happiness, actions and reactions. Your happiness and actions depend on them.

On the other hand, if you learn to stay detached, you may listen to what they say, but as if they are saying it about someone else. If they are right, you can benefit from what they say. If they are wrong, you go on with your life as if nothing was said.

Have you ever thought how much time and energy is wasted every day, over brooding on thoughts and feelings, because of the lack of detachment? Much of the anger, frustration, disappointments and fights come about because there is no detachment.

Detachment develops automatically, when one engages in meditation. It is a gradual automatic process. In meditation one endeavor not to follow the thoughts and feelings that rise. It is a time of a mental and emotional vacation. Meditating day after day develops the habit of staying cool and calm, not only during meditation, but also in all daily life.

If you practice any kind of meditation, sooner or later you will start to experience detachment. You will find that you feel and behave in a different way under circumstances that previously raised anger or agitation. You will find that you handle your daily affairs of life in a calm and relaxed way.

Real detachment means inner strength, and the ability to function calmly and with full inner control under all circumstances. A detached person is not harassed and hurried, and can do everything with concentration and attention, thus insuring a successful outcome of his actions.