Have you ever been to a party and someone came up to you and said, "My, you look fat." Or "My, you look skinny." Or "My, you look stupid." You get the idea.
If you are already having problems with whatever issue they've mentioned, those words will have a serious impact on you. Even if the person came right back and said, "I was only kidding. I didn't mean it." His or her apology won't be what you'll remember, the apology won't be the words you run back and forth in your mind. Just like that, your shoulders start slumping, you lose your zest, and you want to go home. And you are seriously ready to make someone else's life a living hell when you get there.
Why? Because someone said something that hurt your feelings? You know the pity party you are about to embark on? NO ONE has any fun there. Why put yourself through that?
You see, if someone hadn't tripped your trigger, you would have had a great time. *They* didn't hurt you. They only tripped a trigger that you have kept near the surface. You LET them hurt you simply by being vulnerable in that area, by keeping your vulnerable outlook close by so that they COULD hurt you.
Can you imagine what your response would be if you weren't vulnerable? If they said "My, you look fat", but in actuality you are thin? You'd laugh it off, wouldn't you?
Why not take charge of your life? Why not take it upon yourself to be prepared for something like this? Be prepared to laugh it off. Because it's going to happen as long as you have excess weight, a unusual hair style, pimples, glasses, or anything else that people make fun of.
*** TIP: Did you notice that I didn't say *as long as you have YOUR excess weight, unusual hair, etc.?* Because if you keep claiming it, you'll keep having it. The more you say *I'm fat* or whatever when you look in the mirror, the more you will keep the problem. The more you say derogatory words when describing yourself, silently or out loud, the more you impress those ideas into your subconscious, the more you will bring them into your life. The more you unconsciously invite people to make fun of you. ***
Here's how to fix that.
The minute someone has hurt your feelings, or touched a vulnerable area, start imagining them in plaid pajamas. Their pajamas aren't just any pajamas, though. These pajamas have a video playing in one of the big squares of the plaid on their chest. The video has good things happening. It has your mom, your dad, your brother or sister or grandma or grandpa, or someone you respect telling you all good things that you've accomplished in your life. They're patting your back and you are feeling terrific. You are paying attention to the video -- and as you are paying attention to it, your shoulders are going back, your back is straight, you have a smile on your face -- until the person has left, knowing he or she can't get a rise out of you. You have just gone up a notch on their respect barometer, and next time you'll be able to talk with them closer to equals instead of you with *sucker* tattooed on your forehead. Sucker is just another word for vulnerable. Don't sweat it!
. You know how to take care of it.
*** I realize there are some who don't have any good memories to use in their video. This is where the Lemon article that was in last week's Tame Your Brain! will work. If you missed it, click here: mailto:jan@tameyourbrain.com and put Lemon in the subject line. I'll send it to you. If you have any questions after reading it, feel free to write again. ***
Let me know how it works in your life, OK? And maybe you have even better ideas that I can share with our readers? And watch this e-zine for more hints on how to live your life positively. By the time the year is over you will have learned about techniques and strategies on how to turn almost anything into a positive situation. That's my goal, so help me help you achieve it, OK?
Thanks for reading, Jan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright 2000, Jan Tincher, All Rights Reserved Worldwide
---------------------------------------------------------------
Learn unique strategies and techniques for personal success from Jan Tincher online at http://www.TameYourBrain.com
==> You are welcome to reprint this article in its entirety, unedited, provided you retain the above resource box including this notice and you notify us the day(s) it will run. Thank you.
Jan Tincher is a Hypnotherapist and Master Neuro-Linguistic Programmer in Forest City, Iowa. She shows people how to make their own changes. Many report that it is such a relief to get out of that "loser" or "victim" mentality, and get on with their lives. If they can do it, you can, too! Check out her web site at: http://www.tameyourbrain.com