Cupid Isn’t Stupid
Quickest Valentine’s Day Tips for Matchmaking and Dating Success
Did you know that when we meet each other for the first time we evaluate each other on a very deep and super alert subconscious level? The instant we meet someone new we evaluate them with appraisals that have to do with assessing our own safety, “I do/do not feel safe with you”
I do/do not trust you”. We decide within 90 seconds if we trust them and will open up further or we will shut them down. You need to know how to manage those first few seconds in order for your relationships to grow the way you want them to grow.
Those of you engaged in dating, speed dating, networking, business socializing will benefit greatly from knowing the four ways we evaluate each other in 90 seconds so that you can leverage that immediately with a new meet to achieve romantic success, and personal success.
Dianne Legro is a top Professional presence speaking coach and her tips will help you connect instantly with others with confidence and ease and get the results you want.
Here is what you need to know:
1.
The first quality we register about another person is their attitude. The good news for those of you who dread socializing, are not natural networkers and are nervous daters is that you can choose you attitude!
Not only that, but attitudes have already been tested for you that you can choose from the top 3 that create trust the fastest. So go ahead and choose one of these three the next time you feel challenged socially or romantically. The top three are enthusiasm, curiosity, and humility.
FYI The number one trait most admired by others is your health and vitality. This means simply “are you bringing energy into the room or are you taking it out. Are you contributing to life or are you not. This is #1.
The second trust evaluation people make when they meet you is based on your eye contact.
You want to offer an open gaze, neutral and friendly and focused on the other person. When you meet and shake hands it is imperative that you maintain a welcoming connected gaze.
The consequences are dire. I have clients who have cancelled major business deals because eye contact was diverted and the future partner was perceived as untrustworthy.
The third quality we evaluate the voice. Is your voice relaxed, resonant, expressive, vital inviting? My clients hire me because their voices are the opposite of these things, high pitched, nasal, annoying, immature sounding, tight, and they know it is costing them business and relationships. Telemarketers know this fact on the phone people decide to do business with you in 10 seconds or less based on the sound of your voice. The fastest way to warm and enliven your voice is to smile when you are speaking. Place a mirror by your phone with a post it attached that says Smile! Watch yourself and guide yourself to speaking with a smile. People can hear it and they will treat you more invitingly. Breathe deeply in your body instead of high in the chest. It helps your voice to Drop in to your body if yours is stuck in your throat and feeling and sounding tight.
Finally, your gestures and body language speaking volumes about you. You are constantly speaking non verbally and what you are not aware you are saying could be turning people off.
The most important thing to remember is that we trust people who seem to be like us.
Learn to mirror the person you are talking with. If they have a distinctive posture, SUBTLY mirror that posture, watch for their voice pitch and speed, their humor style and speaking style.
They will bond with you faster and consider a date because you seem to be like them.
Here is a very special tip: When you are asking someone a question nod your head up and down. As they
Answer you continue nodding nodding. They will answer you with a more positive unguarded response, they will enjoy the interaction with you more and their trust of you will continue to go up.
Perhaps into “The Cupid Zone!” where feelings and emotions are engaged.
The wonderful gain to you of practicing these characteristics and behaviors is that they shape who you will become in powerful positive ways. Perhaps you become someone who welcomes others warmly, listens more intently, smiles more often, contributes and brings life and energy into the room . You will no longer have to remember “step’ about how to be.. Because you become them. You become the person others want to be around, do business with and fall in love with.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Dianne Legro is CEO of Speaking success International. She is hailed as “The Profitable Star Power Speaking Coach”. She coaches executives and professionals and speaks, consults and trains the most effective presentation skills and communication skills today. She trains leaders and employees in Fortune 500 companies, mid sized companies and small companies. For a free report on “How to build your Business Fast and Get Known in Your Niche By Speaking in Public” click this link. www.speakingsuccessinternational.com
Dianne Legro is hailed as "The Profitable Star Power Speaking coach". she coaches executives and professionals and speaks, consults and trains the most effective presentation skills and communication skills today. She trains leaders and employees in Fortune 500 companies and small and mid sized companies .