Have you ever wondered why people resist the selling process — both the selling and the buying sides of it?
After all, it’s a human activity that is fundamental to how we all live on this planet — a transaction process indispensable to the very fabric of existence — “I will give you this if you give me that.”
We couldn’t get by without buying - and selling.
I’m doing it right now — selling my point of view. If you consider it and then take me seriously, hasn’t the sale been made?
And even as much as I know that selling truly is a spiritual service, or at least it can be — that’s what this blog is all about — as I write this I can feel a niggling discomfort inside, that old aversion to the idea of selling.
But what is selling when it’s done well? Is it not a transaction of value for value?
And to be clear, my niggling discomfort is not even a resistance to “being sold” – you know, being snookered, taken, hornswaggled, ripped off. There’s every reason to be repulsed by someone who is trying to do you in.
But truly, how often does that happen? Realistically, not very.
And yet my gut is gnawing.
Some say it’s because I’ve had bad experiences being sold. But I’ve had many, many, many more good experiences being helped by a salesperson. And the truth is, rarely have I had to deal with someone whose intent was to rip me off.
I know I’m not alone in this.
Nevertheless many people experience an almost knee-jerk resistance when faced with the possibility or necessity of having to sell their wares. So what’s that about?
It appears the deepest causes reside within the worldview that modern Western culture takes for granted.
The worldview we live within claims that we are all independent operatives, separate from one another. That independence is elevated to and cherished as the supreme value.
So any sales transaction brings together two people who experience themselves as fundamentally disconnected — each one striving to get the most possible without much concern, if any, with the impact that such self-servingness has on the other.
In fact, the idea of the “other” has little value except as I must accommodate the other in order to get what I want. It’s every man for himself, which leads to caveat emptor – let the buyer beware.
It takes a certain coarseness of consciousness and conscience to be comfortable with such lack of consideration for the other human being in the transaction.
So if I am not being valued as a person, except in as much as I can purchase something, and I have to be wary or I might be financially (and psychically) injured in some way, why wouldn’t I want to keep as far away from a selling transaction as I could.
Following from this is the idea that only the bottom line counts. Because the bottom line dictates all action and intentions, the primary value — i.e. protecting the bottom line — focuses on an abstraction, not the other person. So if a dedication to the bottom line leads to someone suffering, that's not relevant because care and concern for the bottom line remains the priority.
Again, caveat emptor.
Consequently, if you are sensitive to, or care about your impact on others, and yet don’t see an alternative to bottom-line thinking, you can’t help but feel squeamish at the idea of selling.
But, as we’ve been writing about in this blog, there is another way, and the need for it is being felt by more and more people.
It’s grounded in the perception that we are all inter-connected in this life and therefore inter-dependent on each other. No one gets through this life without the help and support of others.
So — because we are all connected, and the world we live in is one of reciprocal support, and we know the psychic damage that can result from abusing one another (we know that from our own experience), and yet we have to perform value-for-value transactions (i.e. selling and buying), we need to truly see selling as a spiritual service.
Why? Because selling - with respect for buyer and seller - becomes a profound and meaningful connection - one that serves all life on this planet.
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Husband-and-wife psychology team and Internet marketers Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and Jim Sniechowski, Ph.D. pioneered a heart-based approach to Soft Sell Marketing. They’ve taken
that approach into producing “Bridging Heart and Marketing” - their unique, first-time-ever Internet marketing conference dedicated to the specific needs of the Soft Sell marketing community - for whom the typical hard sell "hype" doesn't fit.
By Soft Sell they’re referring to all the personal growth, healing and life-enhancement providers who market services and products. Unlike typical hard sell tactics, Soft Sell Marketing reinforces a caring and trustworthy relationship between marketers and the prospects and customers they want to attract.