By this time in January, most people have already forgotten or backtracked on their New Year resolutions. Why? Because most people set dreamy goals without first assessing their current reality and deciding exactly what they need to change in their life in order to get where they want to go. There’s a law in life that says, “No Clarity, No Change.”
It means that if you’re not completely clear about where you are today, there’s no way you’ll ever change to get where you want to go. With that in mind, and with the dawn of the New Year now past us, I wanted to share with you what I call the “8 Transformation Truths.” I often use these with my coaching clients, and I believe these Truths will help you set goals and take stock of your life. I call these statements “transformation truths” because, if internalized and acted upon, they can dramatically change your life. These transformation truths formed the psychological journey I took the main character on in my book Life’s Golden Ticket. Take time to read and consider these eight, straightforward statements. Be honest. Think about tomorrow. Go from making New Year resolutions to creating a new reality.
Transformation Truth #1:
Either you are truly moving forward or you aren’t.
We were all born to move forward: to crawl, to walk, to run, to grow, to push ourselves diligently toward our destinies and dreams. Unfortunately, many of us have let our fears and the need for safety weigh us down. We’ve stopped taking the leaps and bounds and chances needed to get us closer to the life we desire. Tragically, too many of us have settled into jobs that lead nowhere, relationships that sink our spirits, and habits that hold us back. To prevent that or become more focused, ask yourself these simple questions on a regular basis: Have I been charging ahead in life, standing still, or falling behind? Am I truly moving forward toward my dreams, or am I simply conning myself into believing that I’m just “waiting for the right time to make my move”? What do I need to do today to boldly start moving forward?
Transformation Truth #2:
Either you’re doing work you truly enjoy or you aren’t.
Most of us know that our life’s purpose is more than just a paycheck, and that a life of meaning is not limited to a life of means. Yet many of us suffer the self-imposed misery of doing unfulfilling work simply to make ends meet. Is what you are doing something that you whole-heartedly enjoy? Do you get happily lost in your work on a regular basis and feel like you’re truly growing, contributing, and making a difference? If you cannot answer with a resounding “Yes!” to these questions, then you already know it’s time for a change. It’s time to face that and take action.
Transformation Truth #3:
Either you are truly being yourself or you aren’t.
Each day we have a choice: Will I live authentically or adapt to the world around us? When we choose to be authentic, we show the world our raw, unpainted, genuine self. We act in accordance with our convictions and we openly share our personality and passions with other people. Living like this makes us feel alive, connected, and “real.” Unfortunately, many of us choose instead to adapt to the world the way a chameleon does, changing our true colors in order to blend in. Living like this makes us feel hollow and disconnected. It makes us avoid ourselves in the mirror and creates a repeating whimper in our minds: “Please stop acting this way; it’s not the real you, and there’s someone special in here waiting to be let out.” How are you living your life—are you showing the world who you really are, or are you putting on a facade in order to fit in and be accepted? Your answer probably says a lot about how you feel on a regular basis.
Transformation Truth #4:
Either your relationships are truly supporting you or they aren’t.
The quality of our lives is shaped by the quality of our relationships. Indeed, the people in our lives who treat us with kindness, respect, honesty, and understanding have the ability to lift us to our highest heights. On the flip side, those who mistreat us, disrespect us, lie to us, neglect us, or abuse us often have the power to pull us down into the depths of despair. Think about the people surrounding you: your family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances, romantic interest. Are any of these people holding you back from being your best? Are any of them making you feel small, stupid, unworthy, unloved, or uncared for? If so, who are they? Now the important part: Why in the world are you allowing these people in your life, and what are you doing right now to surround yourself with supportive and inspiring people?
Transformation Truth #5:
Either you truly believe in yourself or you don’t.
It turns out that sometimes the most toxic relationship we ever get into is the one with ourselves. We beat ourselves up, call ourselves names, point out our faults, and question our own worthiness of love and happiness. On the other hand, our relationship with ourselves can be healthier and friendlier. We can take pride in our efforts and achievements, acknowledge our strengths, and reaffirm that we are worthy of a good life. So what kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Are the thoughts playing in your head hurtful or helpful? Are you lifting yourself or tearing yourself down and what is the result in your life?
Transformation Truth #6:
Either you’re truly fit and vibrant, or you’re not.
The diet industry booms this time of year, only to leave in its wake millions of unhealthy and unhappy people. Why? Because true health and vibrancy doesn’t depend on food alone. We all know that, but most of us aren’t as physically fit and vibrant as we want to be. Do you have as much energy as you’d like to have throughout the day? Is the food and proportions you’re consuming helping you feel light and fueled, or heavy and wasted? Are you exercising several times a week? If you haven’t felt truly alive in some time, it probably has more to do with your physical conditioning and the amount of food on your plate than on how busy you are or how much you have on your plate at work. Make today the day you rededicate yourself to living a fit, vibrant and healthy life.
Transformation Truth #7:
Either you’re building wealth, or you’re depleting it.
Most of us have a one-sided love affair with money—we take and spend, but we don’t give and save. The majority of us also believe that there’s not enough abundance in the world, that we’re only worth so much, and can only earn a given amount each year. Are you making as much money as you would like to right now? Why not? Are you adding enough value at work? Have you been differentiating yourself, coming up with new clients or products or services, seeking mentors who can help you climb higher? Are you putting more away than you spend? If not, why? We all know the advice: earn, spend little, save lots, plan for the long haul. This is a great time to check yourself—and your checkbook. It’s time to set some higher financial goals in your life—so you can take care of yourself and others—and to create a plan for a more profitable year.
Transformation Truth #8:
Either you’re truly stepping up or you’re backing down.
How are you facing life’s challenges? Are you hiding under the sheets or seizing the day? Are you running away from your fears or charging at them head-on? Are you avoiding your problems or knocking them off one by one? Those that dramatically transform their lives refuse to shrink from anyone or anything. They choose to stand up and speak up in life even when it feels like the hardest thing in the world to do. How about you? Are you choosing to stand up or back down? Are you making your presence known? Have you shared your thoughts and feelings and declared what you want in life? Have you fought for your dreams and done it consistently enough to create the life you’ve always wanted?
I hope these Truths help you assess where you are today, and where you need to go. I also hope you always find the strength to face your life, to boldly walk up to the gates of possibility, ticket ready in hand, willing to claim the life you’ve always deserved.
Brendon Burchard is author of Life’s Golden Ticket and recently launched the largest success sweepstakes in history at http://www.lifesgoldenticket.com/gifts
Brendon Burchard is the author Life’s Golden Ticket (HarperOne, May 2007) and a highly-acclaimed life coach, leadership speaker, and business consultant. His clients have included Accenture, JC Penney, eBay, Best Buy, Nordstrom, Levi's, Gateway, Walgreens, Federal Mogul, and thousands of entrepreneurs and executives in speeches and seminars across the country. As a dynamic speaker and innovative businessman, he is in constant demand and regularly appears on national television and radio shows. His media appearances have included ABC World News, CBS-NY Early Show, regional NPR stations, Oprah and Friends, and other popular programs. Brendon's life-changing message and events have been sponsored by Wachovia, Wal-Mart, Coca-Cola, Toyota and other major companies. Recently, Brendon lived his message of making a difference by helping create the largest nonprofit partnership in history serving the children of the world. The partnership, between Junior Achievement and Kiwanis International, has the potential to teach 8 million youth worldwide about service, business and leadership.
Brendon was blessed to receive life’s golden ticket—a second chance—ten years ago after surviving a dramatic car accident in a third-world country. Since then, he has dedicated his life to helping individuals, teams and organizations create and master change. Brendon’s books, newsletters, and appearances now inspire more than 2 million people a month. His signature seminar events, which change thousands of people’s lives each year, are The Life's Golden Ticket Seminar Series for motivated adults, The College Success Bootcamp for emerging student leaders, and The Nonprofit & Corporate Partnership Seminar for authors, coaches, consultants, executives and social entrepreneurs hoping to partner with major organizations to change the world.
Brendon’s previous works include the best-selling student leadership text in the country, The Student Leadership Guide(The University of Montana, 2003), and a popular handbook for Fortune 500 executives called The Leader’s Guide to Innovation (Accenture, 2004). As a dedicated volunteer and nonprofit board member, Brendon donates a portion of the proceeds from his speeches and book sales to Kiwanis International, Junior Achievement, and the YMCA. He lives in northern California but still calls Montana, where he grew up, home.