There is a “universal truth” called THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, which states that you get what you focus on. Well, they make it sound that simple in the popular movie which came out last year called “The Secret”. The real truth is that you get what you believe in. The outer condition of your life right now is a reflection of your inner beliefs, believe it or not!
The person responsible for your income, your debt, your health, your relationships, your fitness level, your weight, your attitudes and all your opportunities (or lack there of) is only you!
It’s a popular myth that external factors determine how you live. Sure, the world we’re born into has influenced us, but the truth of the matter is that you can be in complete control of the quality of your life.
Maybe the time has come for you to get in the driving seat of your mind. Look at the life you’ve created and determine what is working and what is not. Certainly there are wonderful things happening in your life, whether it’s your job, your spouse, your grades, your children, your friends, or your income level.
Congratulate yourself on these successes; you are creating them for yourself! And then take a look at what isn’t working out so well. What are you doing or not doing to create those experiences?
Are you blaming others for your unhappiness?
When you realise that you create your experiences, you’ll realise that you can un-create them and create new experiences whenever you want. But you must take responsibility for your happiness and your unhappiness, your ups and your downs, your good times and your bad times. When you stop blaming, you can take that energy and redirect it to focus on creating a better situation for yourself. Blaming only ties up your energy.
Successful people take 100% responsibility for the thoughts they think and the actions they take.
They don't waste their time and energy blaming and complaining. They evaluate their experiences and decide if they need to change them or not. They face the uncomfortable and take risks in order to create the life they want to live.
Taking responsibility requires you to first decide to believe that you create all your experiences. Second, to pay attention to yourself, your behavior and your life experiences. And last, to face the truth and deal with what is not working in your life. You have to be willing to change your behavior if you want a different outcome.
Isn’t it a great relief to know that you can make your life what you want it to be? Isn’t it wonderful that your successes do not depend on someone else?
Commit to taking 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. Decide to make changes, one step at a time. Once you start the process you’ll discover it is much easier to get what you want by taking control of your state of mind and your actions!
It is not what others say or do that influences your state of mind. It’s what you do inside your head in response to their words or actions. Your reactions to situations are information about your level of awareness. A consciously aware person recognises that each individual does the best that they can with their current level of awareness. This is a liberating fact. It puts you straight in the driving seat of your mind. And if you’re not the one driving your mind, then who is?
“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.”
- Buddha -
Over the past three decades, hundreds of studies have shown that nothing holds more power over the body than the beliefs of the mind. The physical world, including our body, is a reflection of our perceptions, thoughts, and feelings.
Perception is a learned phenomenon. The way we experience the world and our body is learned behavior. By changing our perceptions, we can change our experience of our body and world.
Our cells are constantly eavesdropping on our thoughts and being changed by them. When we fall in love, positive thoughts and emotions course through our body and strengthen our immune system. On the other hand, the dark thoughts and feelings of depression can leave us vulnerable to illness.
Your body has its own intelligence, and that intelligence reacts to what your mind is saying, reacts to your thoughts. So emotion is your body’s reaction to your mind. The body’s intelligence is, of course, an inseparable part of the universal intelligence, one of its countless manifestations. It gives temporary cohesion to the atoms and molecules that make up your body. It is the organizing principle behind the workings of all the organs of the body, the conversion of oxygen and food into energy, the heartbeat and circulation of the blood, the immune system that protects the body from invaders, the translation of sensory input into nerve impulses that are sent to the brain, decoded there, and reassembled into a coherent inner picture of reality. You don’t run your body. The intelligence does. Your mind directs your body’s intelligence and therefore determines your physical, mental and emotional state through your will.
“Of all the creatures of earth, only human beings can change their patterns. Man alone is the architect of his destiny…… Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of the lives.”
- William James -
How to overcome negative emotional states: Welcome the feeling!
Fear is Excitement! Yes! The actual energy we feel in our bodies that we usually call "fear" is exactly the same energy as we call "excitement!" What creates the difference in our experience of the feeling is our attitude toward the feeling, our approach to the emotion, the way we hold that quality in our awareness.
It’s the resistance of a negative emotion that causes suffering. An e-motion is energy in motion. As soon as you’re willing to experience an emotion without labeling it, it moves and disappears. Not wanting a particular emotional state simply builds walls around it and locks it inside you.
When we change the way we label or name "uncomfortable" states, the more approachable the condition is for us to feel, the easier it is for us to experience it - and therefore, the faster that state shifts and transforms into another condition that is more enjoyable.
So, if we approach undesirable states like crisis, loss, grief or anger with labels that are more easily feel-able - like “situation”, “sensation” or “energy” - we will be more willing and able to fully experience those states and they’ll move through us more quickly and gracefully. When we don't define or name the situations or feelings with a "negative" label, we don't resist experiencing them fully.
Good news: There is no failure. There is only feedback.
You can’t do anything wrong! Everything you done was successful! Maybe it wasn’t the successful result that you wanted. In which case you’ve now learned how not to do something. Great! So take that feedback and use it to achieve the successful results that you want to achieve. Now response-ability can take on a new meaning. How is your ability to respond to feedback? If what you’ve done or attracted into your life is not serving you well, then change your strategy, think the thoughts and do the things that are aligned with what you want to experience.
“The kind of thinking that got you to where you are, is not the kind of thinking that will get you to where you want to go.”
- Albert Einstein -
Get into the HABIT OF HAPPINESS
People do not need to be rich and powerful to enter the gateway where flows the rippling river of happiness. It is our desires and attractions that ascertain our intimate happiness or sorrow. Our will should direct our thoughts and feelings, and through its exercise we build character. So in striving for the desired object, do not forget the value of happiness, the value of good cheer and sunshine. Keep your face toward the sunshine and your shadows will go behind.
What do you focus on mostly? That which you want, or that which you don’t want? Remember, you get what you focus on (especially if you believe it’s possible).Your will is the intention that directs your mind. So every thought and action must be watched and guarded until a new habit becomes thoroughly established. Keep your attention on thoughts that make you feel happy. What does a happy body do? How does a happy body move? That’s right…get going along the stepping stones that will lead to your HABIT OF HAPPINESS.
“You must be the Change that you want to see in the world”.
- Mahatma Gandhi -
Jevon is an internationally trained and accredited Coach, Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming) and HNLP (Humanistic Neuro-Linguistic Psychology) and Hypnotherapy.