The Golden Rules Of Successful Relationships

I am one of those persons who have always been in a relationship, at least since I was 14, and successful ones.
They had their natural flow and growth and at a certain point they came to and end, with a little sadness in saying goodbye and the certainty that the emptiness of separation was letting space for something new. This always happened quite naturally to me, with few adjustments along the way, but seeing how people struggle in their relationships, while they are alive and while they come to an end, made me ask a few questions about myself: where do I go “right”? So I set up a list of golden rules… a few things we can chose to do or not to do in order to be happy in our relationships.
1 Never give the other for granted.
2 Never expect that the other is there to give you happiness: she/he is there for her/his own sake.
3 Take whatever comes from the other as a gift and don’t be demanding.
4 Cultivate your "aloneness", your capacity to be fulfilled and joyful without the other. Fear of loneliness is never a good reason to stay with someone!
5 Respect yourself and the other in the same equal way: don’t sacrifice and don’t ask the other to sacrifice; don’t compromise and don’t ask the other to compromise. Negotiate till you find the “middle way”, in which both of you are happy without betraying yourselves.
6 If you give or you do something good for the other never ask her/him to give you a reward: a gift is a gift is a gift…
7 Be as honest and true as possible: lies and secrecy are pure poison.
8 If the other trusts you enough to tell you something difficult to say (like I slept with someone else) don’t betray her/his trust, be worthy and behave with dignity and respect for yourself.
9 Remember: everyone has the partner that she/he deserves.
10 You can only do your part, allow the other the freedom to chose for her/himself.

These rules just need a little change of vision… We have been brought up with a lot of romantic dreams about everlasting loves and lovers who will eventually come out of nowhere to rescue us, to save us, to fulfill us and give us what we have always longed for!!! Reality is not like that… but it can be much more beautiful and fulfilling if we take full responsibility of our own life, love, joy, happiness, fulfillment. Then the relationship becomes the ultimate cherry on the top of the cake! A LUXURY!

If your existing relationship is facing some problems and difficulty, try to observe yourself and your behavior: where do you go wrong and where do you go right? Give energy to the right and change the wrong. I don’t say “TRY to do it”, I say simply “DO IT!”. It is in your hands, in nobody’s else hands. If your partner is worthwhile she/he will follow you, without even say nothing to her or to him… And of course you can share these rules with your partner. But if the other feels reluctant, don’t force anything on to her/him. Respect her/his freedom. And you are always free to change partner. If your attitude changes you may soon find yourself available for something new. It is wonderful to grow together, but if it is not possible there is nothing good in being stuck together… Better move on and get ready for something more valuable.
Of course these rules don’t apply only to man/woman relationships. You can use them with anyone. With your parents, with your children, with your colleagues, with your boss, with your friends, even with your pets!!!
Actually when we start to see others through the eyes of friendliness, respect and freedom it doesn’t really matter what kind of relationship we have with them…
The real key is in learning the art of loving, ourselves and others. We spend so many years in education and trainings but we hardly spend time and energy to learn how to love.
It is a art and a science!!!! It has its rules!!!!!
And most of all it is never too late… Life doesn’t make any restrictions in terms of time when it comes to love! Enjoy the journey!
Marga