Can Having an Affair Save a Marriage?

Depending on where you research, between 40 and 50 percent of all first marriages result in a divorce. Marriage is not what it was fifty years ago, and the role of each partner has changed dramatically over the years. In the 1950s and 1960s, men worked and were the breadwinners for the family while women took care of everything at home. As the 1970s rolled around, there was an initial surge of women working, and with a change in culture, divorce rates began to rise. People no longer had to suffer in miserable marriages for the rest of their lives.

In the early 2000s, extramarital affair websites ware born. The idea was that men and women could find a fling, and not have to break up their families to fill a void in their lives. Membership began to quickly rise on these sites, and a new industry was born.

Why do people have affairs? For most men who cheat on their wives, it’s usually pure sexual frustration. Men cheat to release the stress and possibly get the thrill of another woman. Most women cheat for another reason, an emotional void or detachment from their spouse, hoping for someone to treat them in a special, appreciative way, even if temporary.

Is there a way to save your marriage if it’s on the rocks? The people behind the popular affairs dating sites like to think so. They claim that with the economy suffering to the point it has over the past few years, people are more and more stressed out, leading to arguments and divorces. But what if these people had a way to vent their anger and frustration? Affairs sites explain that people sign up for their services, find an extramarital partner and get it out of their systems, and go back home to what seems to be a happy, peaceful marriage. They leave their stress with their extramarital partner and resume life as normal.

They may have a point, but it’s a risky move. Depending on where you are in your marriage and what the state of your relationship is, it could take on many forms. For example, women are much better than men at keeping their affair a secret. Most of the time, none of their friends or family will ever know, because they keep it to themselves, protecting their marriage and family. Men, on the other hand love to brag to anyone who they feel they can trust. They’ll tell a buddy one night when they’re out drinking, who will tell his friend, and the story will somehow lead back to the wife being cheated on, resulting in a divorce, or at least lots of pain and drama.

I think at the end it comes down to how bad both sides want to make the marriage work. If there isn’t much of a backbone for the relationship to stand on, then an affair might be the reason to move on and pursue other love interests.

However, if there is a lot to lose, like children, property, family, then reconsidering might be a good choice for the sake of what you stand to lose. Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer. Whether you’re the one who’s cheated or been cheated on, you need to weigh the situation and decide accordingly.