Are you smarter than a Buddha?

I am waiting for a new show to appear titled Are you smarter than a Buddha?
Or Are you smarter than an enlightened Master?
There seems to be an enormous amount of debate going on at the moment in regards to what makes someone Spiritual or Enlightened.
I can imagine turning the page of a glossy magazine and finding a quiz one day
How to tell if you are Enlightened
1. You are faced with a body of water such as an ocean do you
a) Jump in and drown
b) Hire a boat
or c) Walk on water
2. The postal service delivers your Christmas present from Grandma and it has been damaged beyond repair do you
a) Proceed to strangle the postal worker
b) Apologise profusely for Grandmas inability to wrap a present properly or
c) Forgive the postal worker for his sins
If you answered C to both questions go to the sliding scale of spiritualism on your left and move the arrow to 10. Congratualtions you are an enlightened being.

Which goes to show just how ridiculous it is to try and pin the tail on the enlightened beings.
Knowledge seems to be a criteria for being spiritual the more books you read the more courses you participate in the more you fill your ego mind up with concepts laws secrets the more you will be held in an enlightened light.
I wonder though who is on this exclusive selection committee whose measuring stick are we using?
Is the Christian more spiritual than the Zen Master is the Catholic more privy to secrets of the universe than the Pagan?
Who gets to decide the criteria for being Spiritual or having reached enlightenment?
I want to be on that committee!!!!

I am sorry your application for enlightened being has been rejected on the grounds your humanity is always showing.
I am sorry we are full up with enlightened beings at the moment please come back later someone is bound to slip up and have their membership terminated.
I like to think I am living my life to the best of my ability that I am walking my talk speaking my truth and honoring the right of others to do the same.
Am I enlightened? Probably not.
Am I spiritual well that would depend on whose ruler you were using to measure me.
Sometimes I wonder if there was a contest on the back of the Cereal Box I didnt see.
Win an eternity of heavenly joy simply fill out the forms stating in 200 words or less why you are a Spiritual or Enlightened being.

I suppose I shall muddle along the best I can a mere mortal full of human imperfections and contradictions walking the pathway of life, trying not to bump into the pedastals of those enlightened beings I meet along the way.
Okay I confess I am being cynical and sarcastic probably not traits one would find in a Spiritual person you would think. However I get tired of a Spiritual movement that gets more exclusive by the minute instead of widening its doors its saying you have to be well I am and so is everyone else on the planet and having knowledge or doing something a certain way others dont doesnt make me anything but a person doing something different.
Ahhh two roads diverged in the forest and someone stuck a sign on one saying this way to enlightenment.