The Negotiation Tango - Learning The Steps That Lead To Success

Take a moment to think about what you want and how negotiation could play a part in it. Do you want more rewarding interactions with your family? Think it’s time for a raise at work? What if you could negotiate a business loan to start that business you’ve always wanted? You can accomplish all these things when you learn how to do the Negotiation Tango.

You have likely daydreamed about getting everything you ever wanted. Most people daydream, but they are very skeptical when it comes to realizing those dreams. These people are overlooking one incredibly powerful skill: negotiation. Negotiation enables you to obtain the things you want with little effort; it’s a dance that most people aren't aware of.

Let’s take a closer look… think again about what it is that you want. What (or who) is standing in your way? What obstacles must you overcome to get to where you want to be? Perhaps you’re apprehensive about approaching your boss. Maybe your family doesn’t understand where you’re coming from. Could you be afraid to approach the bank for a business loan? You can overcome all of these problems when you know how dance the Negotiation Tango!

Before you stand up and start dancing you need to establish a common “beat” with your partner. Do this by finding out the common values that you and your partner share. As you learn to tango, you learn to move with your partner – the steps become more familiar and you begin to feel the rhythm. As you start to uncover your shared values, you’ll both feel more comfortable because you will be moving toward a common goal, which will have positive results for the both of you.

Having a common goal, a shared vision, will enable you to get the results you want with much less difficulty. You’ll be able to see past your differences and move together toward the big picture of what you both want. Your shared vision may be to have a more cooperative relationship or to boost sales, whatever the case may be. After you’ve established your shared vision you can move on to the next step, which is to actually dance the tango! Just as with the tango, successful negotiation can be broken down into several steps, which any willing person can learn with a little effort and time.

Let's take a look at each step in the Negotiation Tango:

Step 1 – Right: The first step in this tango is to brainstorm the specific things that each of you can do to make your shared vision work. Share your thoughts about what you would like to happen and what exactly needs to be done to get it accomplished.

Step 2 – Left: Naturally, the left follows the right in your negotiation dance. In negotiation, a reaction naturally follows an opinion which has just been shared. So, ask your partner what they think about the plan you’ve just laid out. Does it work for them? Is there anything missing in the plan that they would like to see? Keep in mind that your shared vision needs to be beneficial for all those involved. (If you lack focus and consideration for your partner here, you may step on their toes. So, be careful that you listen to their response before you respond back to them.)

Step 3 – Right: Take the next step with your right foot by having the other person develop a plan that encompasses what they want and what would be ideal for them. (Just in case they are unsure of where to begin, you can suggest a few ideas that you think would give them what they want.)

Step 4 – Left: Take another step with your left foot and review how their strategy would fit with your shared vision. Does it cover everything both of you desire, or is it lacking something that you really want?

Repeat – Now that you’ve run through the first four steps, take what you’ve identified and repeat this process as many times as you need. You’ll know you’re done when you have a strategy that covers what you both want and you’re both happy.

Step 5 – Groove: When you are first learning how to tango, you slowly go through the steps. Then there comes a point where you both get the steps down and you begin to move in sync – you are in the groove. This is the point where you’re both thinking, “Okay, so I will do this and you will do that, and as long as we both stick to the steps, we’ll have it made.” It’s at this same point in negotiation where you both will need to agree upon the specific actions each person will take to make the deal work. Remember, you have a shared vision and it takes the both of you to make it a reality. Once you’ve established all agreements, move immediately to Step 6 (the final step).

Step 6 – Congratulations, you’ve learned to negotiate with your partner! Now the final step is to commit to dancing again and setup another time to tango. This will create accountability for both of you because you’ll know you must have certain actions completed by the time you meet again. When you see each other again you can refresh each other on any steps that might have been overlooked – anything that might be missing in the prior strategies you agreed upon.

Luckily, the next time you see each other you have another chance to use your negotiation skills. If you recall any time you’ve seen professional dancers take the stage, they look so magnificent, in sync and fluid. You don’t get that way overnight. Professional dancers practice, practice, and practice some more. Give yourself time to become a great negotiator and with a little effort and practice you can negotiate anything and everything you want in life.