Contacting Your Ex-boyfriend – How to Contact Your Ex-boyfriend And Control Your Emotions

Whether you like the thought of it or not, after any break up there will be things that you and your ex-boyfriend will need to discuss.  If you were living together, then there will be issues to do with the house and all of the related bills.  For example, will one of you continue to live in the house you shared, or with you both move out and go your separate ways?  You will need to talk about this with him, and sort out any joint finances which you might have.

If the break up was recent, then it may be difficult for you to think about getting in contact with him again.  However, the sooner you sort out these issues between the two of you, the sooner you will be able to move on and put the entire experience behind you.  You don’t have to call him to arrange this meeting – simply sending a text message or an email will also work.  If he doesn’t respond to your message, then you may need to make that call, but hopefully he should be mature enough to know that there are various things that will need to be sorted.

When you meet him, you need to try to remain calm and keep your emotions under control.  This may be very difficult, depending on how badly the break up went, but now is not the time to be getting upset or to start crying.  Be the mature, sensible, responsible adult that this situation requires, and then if you still feel upset, you can let this out later, once all of the issues have been dealt with and hopefully resolved.

Talk to him calmly, think about what you are going to say before you say it.  Don’t allow your anger to show or your temper to get out of control, as this will only make the situation more difficult and awkward for you both.  If you think you are about to shout, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and count to ten.  Don’t say or do anything else until you have done this, and ignore what he is saying during this time.  If it is important, he will be prepared to repeat it for you.

The entire situation will be much easier if both of you are able to talk rationally and not argue about all the minor details.  However well you manage to control your own emotions, be aware that he might also be struggling with his feelings.  This is going to be awkward for both of you, after all.

If he is completely unable to discuss the problems with you, then the best thing you can do is walk out for the time being.  There is no point in trying to have a serious discussion when either you or he is being ruled by emotions.  Wait a few days for everything to calm down, then get in touch with him again and explain that this is something that really needs to be done.