The Five Simple Steps To Creating The Life You Want

This article was prompted by the following email I received last week:

Dear Elisabeth. I'm a little confused about something, and it just might be something that you could address for others as well. I hear and read that in order to quickly manifest what we want in our lives, the emotions and feelings related to what we want should be strong and intensified; the stronger the emotions and feelings, the stronger my vibration to attract it to me.

At the same time, I hear and read that if I want something 'too much', I'm in essence 'holding too tight' which cuts off the source that can bring it to me; that the only way I can actually manifest anything is if I'm 'OK' without getting the thing that I'm wanting! The idea seems to be that if I'm 'attached' to it, it won't happen. I'm struggling with balancing this fine line...how to intensify the emotions and feelings in an effort to increase the vibration for manifestation, without wanting it so much that I'm no longer OK without it, thereby restricting the process of manifestation.

Hoping you can help me, and others, who may be struggling with the same ideas! Thanks so much for your time, expertise, and consideration! Have a wonderful day, C

OK...so here goes.

Dear C. Sometimes I think we make too much out of what we hear and read. We try to dissect it so deeply that it ceases becoming anything meaningful or of value. This may be one of those situations.

We all want to live the lives we want to live, so those of us who have come across this powerful information relative to manifesting these lives are drawn to anything and everything related to it. But, sometimes, in the process of making heads or tails of it, our brains spin this way and that because it can't stack it all up neatly like our A, B, Cs. What do we do then?

I think one of the main things that stops what we want from coming into our lives is worrying about it. Specifically, worry about not having it. It's always made a lot of sense to me that the main reason we don't get what we want in life is because we spend more time thinking about 'not' having what we want than we do 'having' what we want. And because our lives are so much a reflection of our thoughts, we get what we're thinking of...the 'not' having it piece.

I don't think anyone can say for sure that things come into our life because of some mystical vibration or simply because we stay focused on those things. There's something called Reticular Activation that, in essence, says that whatever you become focused on, you see more of. A great example of this happened when I was pregnant with my son, Andrew. I saw pregnant women everywhere! I was focused on my pregnancy so that's what I saw everywhere I looked.

Then, I became focused on financial literacy and how much people didn't know about money and there it was: articles, news reports, books, people talking about money. It was everywhere. Now, I'm focused on making a difference and I find the opportunity to do so everywhere I look.

You see:

When you're focused on success, you see success.
When you're focused on problems, you see problems.
When you're focused on seeing opportunities, you see opportunities.
And when you're focused on not getting it right, you don't get it right.

Now for C's question about the 'wanting' part of the equation. Is it a problem wanting something too much?

My answer is:

No, unless this wanting is causing you pain or suffering.
No, unless the wanting is keeping you not OK with where you currently are in life.
No, unless you forget to live today and perpetually live for tomorrow.

I think this is the key. It is the worrying that messes up the vibration, so to speak; messes with our focus on what we want; messes with our ability to 'think' about having what we want instead of not having it.

It has been my experience that there are several ways to categorize us humans: partly sunny vs. partly cloudy; positive vs. negative; optimistic vs. pessimistic; and my favorite, process vs. goal.

Personally, I find process type people generally more content with life and where they are, while still working on the goals they set for themselves. Goal people tend to come in two main styles: focused on goals but happy today and focused on goals and never happy in the present. So is the latter an example of wanting it sooo much that you don't 'get it' (get it?) and that if we're not happy today, it doesn't matter what goal we reach in the future, it won't make a difference for long? Maybe.

Now for those Five Steps to creating the life you want.

1) Figure out what you want. Sometimes this is the toughest part. HINT: You must sit still long enough to let it come to you. How long has it been since you've just sat with yourself?

2) Figure out what it will look like and feel like to have it. The more concrete and detailed you can make this the better. If you walk into the BMW dealer and say, "I want a new car", the salesperson probably won't really know what to show you.

3) Use the tools available to you to keep you focused on what it is you want: Affirmations, Afformations, Dream/Vision Boards, Writing down your goals regularly (they will change and this is OK), and most importantly WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS. Download this single page from our Financial Freedom Playbook to keep track of your thoughts for a while.

4) Associate and disassociate with the thing you want; i.e., see it 'through' your own eyes as if you are seeing it already done AND see yourself in the future having what it is you want as if you're watching yourself in your own life's movie. This helps pave the way for an event you've already put into your future and keeps you focused on that future.

5) Then simply enjoy what comes. Need I say more?

All of this 'stuff' about creating your life is easy to teach to your children, if you have them. And if you don't have any kids, find one. They are everywhere and they deserve to know these simple, life creation tools.

Do a dream board together as a family activity. Read books about creating your lives together. Talk about their dreams, their aspirations, their desires.

Bottom line: we all have the ability to create the lives we wish. It is my experience that if we are not doing it, it's because we either don't know what we want, don't know the tools to create the lives we want, or, the life we're living is serving us somehow. And we'll leave THAT idea for another time.

For now just think about what you want and having what you want already. You may be very surprised at how quickly it shows up when you shift your thoughts.