While searching for the true meaning of love, from the very origin or what we thought as the origin, if Venus is to be sighted, I was shocked by three powerful words. I found them in the ancient Greek literature. These three Greek words helped me to understand better what love is and how to get to her. These words are 'Eros', 'Phileo' and 'Agape'.
Eros which is the root word for erotic means passionate love. It has to do with the corporeal. It is what leads to sex. Phileo the root word for philosophy has to do with affection. If you remember the meaning of philosophy, philo is love while 'sophy' is wisdom. Therefore phileo is to be fond of, to be attached to, affectionate love or friendship. While, agape is the unconditional love, it is selfless. When the three are put together I believe you have a perfect love.
It is stupid to take feelings for love; for what starts in feeling will surely ends in feelings. Feelings are temporal; they depend largely on conditions and seasons.
Now how does it work? And what are the steps.
Step One
The first time you are attracted to a guy, it would be most probably because of his cuteness. Generally, it is always because of his corporeal form. The way he talks, his gentleness, his biceps perhaps, his looks etc. That is eros, physical attraction.
You are drawn to a guy by eros, that is okay, it is where to start. But if you jump into bed at this time, you know what you have done? you just murdered love. Putting the cart before the horse is a conscious plan to destroy the cart. You will never arrive at love by trying to herald it with sex.
Step Two
When you know really that the guy is not just cute, but also friendly and comfortable to be with you, you have phileo. Then you get attached. And you begin to hear statements like, 'I like being around him.' ' He is nice to be with.' ' I just want to stay around him.' Sadly enough, most ladies end it here. The guy either dates them or they force themselves on him. Why? They think they have found love. “The guy is so caring and understanding” will be the next thing you will hear.
You've just started friendship and as a matter of fact, good friendships should naturally be that beautiful. Know this, girls, it doesn't end in caring, there is another dimension. You have not struck love yet; you are only on your way to it.
So many ladies get so attached to the guy that they forget everything, only to spend sometime around, see another stunning fellow and question the love they thought they had found. Finish the race girls, get to the last step.
Step Three
This is where you make decisions. Agape is unconditional, it is not all about emotions, attraction, and friendship or caring, it is about a decision.
Love is a responsibility baby. Can you love the guy despite all? All means all. If the eros (physical attraction) and the phileo (the caring and friendliness) is removed will you still love him? Please, you have to be really sincere with yourself. Can you love him and live with him, if he were not caring or attractive? Love is a serious matter, don't deceive yourself. If your answer is yes then you really love him. But if the same is true about both of you. I mean you agape him and he agapes you, then both of you are 'in love with.’
So love involves selflessness and sacrifice, it is something beyond physical attraction (biceps) and caring that ladies always shout about.
Understand this, most guys don't naturally have agape, they always want something to be the condition for their love. But you can make them develop it. It is in your power to make him develop agape. He is not like you that loves through your ears. He loves through his eyes that's why he is always looking for reasons to love. May be your long legs, your blue eyes, pointed nose, pretty face, luscious lips etc. believe me you can make him make the selfless decision.
Austin is a man who saw the future. What he saw like the biblical Prophet Ezekiel becomes fire in his bone that generates unusual passion to save the woman and the child. He is a trained research writer cum communicator whose passion and discovery gave birth to Sisters’ House of Esteem; a Christian youth movement poised to organise and build the 21st century woman and inspire the child.