TRUE BALANCE: WHEN TO BE EVEN-HANDED AND WHEN TO GO FOR IT WITH ALL FOURS
by
Bill Cottringer
“Genuine happiness and true peace of mind only come about when you begin to make progress at knowing when to be even-handed and when to close your eyes, hold your breath and jump in with all fours.” ~The author.
I have realized a very common mistake we all make in life, work and relationships is that we tend to flip-flop the priority order in which we approach things and people. Here are some interesting examples:
• We try to change everything from the outside-in before we understand the wisdom of fitting in first, understanding the situation better and then changing things from the inside-out.
• We direct most of our efforts in trying to change other people, before we focus on ourselves.
• We over-focus on the many uncontrollables and under-focus on the few things that are actually under our control.
• We waste too much time getting out of balance in most areas of our life and hesitate going for broke in the few areas that truly deserve such an all or nothing approach.
• We make the least amount of money in the beginning our work years when we need it most and the most amount at the end when we need it least.
• We pay our kindergarten teachers less when their jobs are harder and their impact wider range, while paying our college professors more, whose jobs are easier and their impact narrow.
Just a few of the many areas in life that deserve and respond better to an even-handed, balanced approach are:
• Talking vs. listening.
• Working vs. playing.
• Giving vs. taking.
• Leading vs. following.
• Being selfish vs. unselfish.
• Accepting vs. intervening.
• Thinking ideals vs. practical idealism.
• Being planned vs. spontaneous.
• Sleeping, eating, working, playing and relating.
• Being dependent, independent and interdependent.
On the other hand, there are a few areas that “demand” to be fully embraced without temperance, hesitation or any reservation. I believe these are the areas that your individual passion and life purpose has to identify for you from your experiences in life. Here are the few areas my experience has told me to go for with all the gusto I can muster, without looking back:
1. Being more optimistic and trusting about the outcomes I hope for and expect to get from my efforts to get them.
2. Sorting through the BS overload and nonsensical chaos, to see what really does matter most and doing it, in a way consistent with the opening quote above.
3. Always striving to sacrifice short term pains and the temptation of short-term gains for long term gains that are more beneficial over the long haul.
4. Being totally responsible for the way I exercise my personal freedom in making choices and taking action, especially when it affects others in not so small ways.
5. Expressing compassion, empathy and love for as many people and situations as I can.
6. Continually evolving my creativity; being as creative as I can in as many ways as I can.
7. Perpetually learning, growing and improving, especially in identifying truth, useful principles and reliable thinking, knowing and decision-making processes.
8. Practicing an abundance of understanding and forgiveness, especially when I least feel like doing that, and without expectations for the favor to be returned.
9. Giving up my old “me win-you lose,” scarcity mentality for a “we all can win,” abundance-opportunity mentality.
10. Protecting the un-teachable minority and trusting the minority who don’t need teaching; and teaching the rest how to be genuinely happy, how to achieve and sustain real success and how to have true peace of mind.
What are your passions telling you to go for with all fours, without temperance, hesitation or reservation?
William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA and also a business and personal success coach, sport psychologist, photographer and writer living in the mountains of North Bend. He is author of several business and self-development books, including, The Prosperity Zone, Getting More By Doing Less, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, The Bow-Wow Secrets, Do What Matters Most, “P” Point Management, and Reality Repair Rx coming shortly. He can be contacted with comments or questions at 425 454-5011 or bcottringer@pssp.net
William Cottringer, Ph.D. is President of Puget Sound Security in Bellevue, WA and also a business and personal success coach, sport psychologist, photographer and writer living in the mountains of North Bend. He is author of several business and self-development books, including, The Prosperity Zone, Getting More By Doing Less, You Can Have Your Cheese & Eat It Too, The Bow-Wow Secrets, Do What Matters Most, “P” Point Management, and Reality Repair Rx coming shortly. He can be contacted with comments or questions at 425 454-5011 or bcottringer@pssp.net