We have all felt those moments when we doubt ourselves, usually when someone has made a judgement about what we have done or said. We have all felt rejection. We have all been made fun of - the focus of some ridiculous comment, joke or situation. When that happens, what goes through your mind? Does it knock you down or do you chalk it up to someone else showing an insecurity? How we react is a matter of choice!
There are many things in our lives that hammer at our self esteem. It is how we choose to react to those influences that can either support or diminish our feelings of confidence and worth. Laura remembers a time in 10th grade when she was getting picked on by a classmate. She remembered the feeling of sadness and the sense of unimportance. Just when she felt like retaliating with a negative comment, something inside her told her not to. Instead, she remembers a calmness that washed over her. She thought about what she was about to say and then said something completely different. All she said was "You're right." She said her classmate's mouth just dropped. It was over. She felt good inside, as she walked away from the situation with a smile on her face instead of tears in her eyes.
We often let our heads do the talking. This is where our inner critic gets ahold of us and creates the negative self talk that can diminish our self-esteem. Our heads (ego) have a need to "defend" with a vengeance, making us feel "right" when we attack through our words, but how do we really feel? We feel out of balance, defeated, sad. Our self-esteem, our confidence gets rocked. When we learn to quiet that inner critic, we can then move into our hearts.
We "hear" differently from the heart perspective. We start to listen to the positive words we create. We chose to react in a positive way by using words that empower. We respond from inner strength. Don't let someone diminish your self-esteem when they start to tell you who they think you are. It is YOUR esteem, not theirs! Yes, we will always have criticism and rejection in our lives. When this happens to you, acknowledge your feelings, then ask yourself "what will help me move passed this?"
Reconnect with your inner strength!
·List 5 emotional, physical, knowledge and spiritual strengths.
·Now, look at your list and write your strengths as "I am..." statements. I am smart, I am a good person, I am a friend, I am good at speaking my truth. This supports you in creating positive self-talk.
·Use your positive statements to stretch yourself. Start with one day and live by your "I am" statement. Live by your inner strength.
·Acknowledge the new feelings that come up. What are they telling you about living through inner strength?
We live so much of our time in negative self-talk. If we take a little time to be calm and acknowledge our greatness, we can create positive self talk that moves us forward in living out best lives.
For the past 20 years, I have been working with people in transformation. After reading Dale Carnegie's How To Win Friends And Influence People, in 7th grade, I knew then that I wanted to help people feel good about themselves and what they did in their lives.
In my early career, I spent years as a corporate sales executive and discovered people were looking for more clarity and joy in their personal and professional lives. In 1989, I moved into personal development consulting. This change lead to deeper self discovery.
I worked to transform traditional business and sales training techniques into a method incorporating visualization, meditation and spiritual practices, creating programs that help people discover more depth in their lives.
Since becoming a Personal Development Life Coach, in 2006, I have been working and supporting individuals and groups in rediscovering their incredible potential for success. Through an interactive and exciting process, I help people to identify dilemmas and impasses. Together, we create achievement plans that transform old ways of thinking into new ways of realizing goals.
I also coach teens and young adults in self-esteem, helping to better cope with and understand life changes during the times ahead.
I am the creator of Life Redesign™ - Creating the Life of Your Dreams and the Wisdom Group™. I am a Graduate of CoachU and a member of the International Coach Federation. I am also a Usui and Japanese Reiki Master/Teacher and Certified Aromatherapist.