Secrets To Staying Happy While Growing Older

My maternal grandfather was the greatest! He could fix anything, from a wonderful breakfast with Mr. McGinty (the fairytale man who lived in the toaster); to refurbishing the old upright player piano I had to have. He rebuilt a collection of three vintage Rolls Royce’s from parts he brought over from Europe and loved showing them at the Owner’s Meet in Salado. He was always working on some detailed project; in fact, he was known to have built the first car at the University of Missouri. When he was fourteen, his father was elected to the U.S. Senate from Missouri, but died in a carriage accident, while on his way to be sworn into office. His father’s death left him to take care of his mother and six children. At ninety-six, he could still tell you the names of the people he interviewed with for jobs after he graduated from college! I’m telling you these things so that you will have a feeling of who he was. My grandfather was a “doer”, a person who kept busy, while always smiling.
I was with my grandfather when he was last in the hospital. We were watching college football together, one of his favorite things to do. Out of nowhere he said, “Well, I think it’s time for me to go.” He had tubes coming out of everywhere, so I responded “Go where?” He slid his finger across his throat and said, “You know, out.”
My mind shifted into fifth gear. One side of my brain was thinking “Okay, my whole family is out of town and can’t get home. I’m back in the typical situation of ‘having to take charge’, so what am I going to do now?” The other side of my brain was thinking “How can I stall him, until I figure out my next move?”
So, I asked him “What are the secrets to being happy as you grow older?” He said “Three things. First, you have to have a reason to get up every morning. Get up, get dressed and get out.” He was taking care of my wheelchair bound grandmother at the time, but he still had his workshop and his rose garden to look forward to being in everyday.
Second, you have to be around all ages; different generations. Otherwise, if you just stay around people your own age, you just talk about your illnesses and the past. Growing up, my brother, sister and I spent every weekend with our grandparents. We loved playing with our mother’s old toys and working with, Charles, our grandfather, in his shop. We spent hours building cars, boats, houses, all kinds of things out of the extra wood and, generally, making a huge mess of the hundreds of jars of nuts, bolts, washers, screws and nails. Years later, my three sons, his great grandchildren, used to look for candy in his clothes – Hershey kisses in his pants cuffs, peanut butter cups in his pockets and, his favorites, Werther’s butterscotch drops tucked inside his shirt – they all used to roll with laughter, tickling and searching. He babysat his great grandchildren, helped all of us remodel our houses and was a “listening” ear, when we needed to talk. He had patience and took the time to reach out to all of the generations around him – his family, his neighbors and people he met while doing errands.
Third, you have to do things that are altruistic, do for others, get out of yourself. He always gave more than you expected. I remember when I asked him for a piece of plywood with a hinged door on it for a college project in one of my architecture classes. He presented me with a beautiful piece of solid oak, sanded to perfection, stained and varnished. That was over thirty years ago, but what’s still precious to me is that he took all that time to do something special just for me.
TODAY, what are you doing EVERYDAY that you look forward to? What is getting you up, dressed and out into the world? TODAY, what ages are you connecting to? Are you calling a friend, a child or grandchild for no reason, except to say “How are you doing?” TODAY, is there someone younger that you can help or teach something? TODAY, what are you contributing to besides to yourself? What is something you can do for someone else? Even just saying hello to someone you make eye contact with. Holding the door for someone. Volunteering your time somewhere on a regular basis. The best thing about giving, isn’t the recognition or the thank you, it’s the way it makes you feel inside.
The secrets to staying happy as you grow older? Have a reason to get up. Stay around people of all ages. Do things that are altruistic. Give to others.