Marriage advice is a dime a dozen, but yet divorce seems to be growing daily. The problem for most couples is that they do not know what to do with all this information when they are in they are faced with a marriage predicament. One way to change this is coming up with a plan. In the same way that you need a plan when building a house, you need a plan if your marriage is to stand firm. Let us look at some practical steps:
1. Positive Thinking
Many people are defeated even before they get started because they allow their minds to be conquered by negative thoughts. They tell themselves that things are too far gone, that their spouse will not respond positively, that they do not have what it takes and a host of other defeating thoughts. This mindset is a recipe for failure and disaster.
If you want to have a great marriage you will first need to transform the way you think. We strongly believe that if you are negative then only negative things will come to you, but if you are positive you will attract positive results.
Starting today, tell yourself that you will only think positive thoughts about your marriage. Thoughts that are loving, uplifting, rewarding and hopeful.
2. Personal Responsibility
When moving forward, there is no room for finger pointing, blame shifting, anger or resentment. YOU need to be willing to take responsibility for the state of your marriage. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, whether or not you think your spouse is at fault, you need to focus on your role in the marriage. What it is that you can do right now to make a difference.
Without taking personal responsibility, you will always think your spouse is the problem and that if he or she doesn’t change then your marriage cannot improve.
However, if you decide to take personal responsibility you will see vast improvements in your relationship with spouse, even if you are the only one trying. We can guarantee that eventually your spouse will make the necessary changes so that in the future you can work as a team in ensuring that your marriage remains Steaming Hot.
3. Develop a Plan
We really believe in a practical approach to fixing your marriage. Therefore, you need to develop an action plan. Ask yourself these questions:
Where do I want to see my marriage in the next three months?
What steps do I need to take when I am in the middle of an argument with my spouse?
How can we ensure that we resolve conflicts immediately?
What am I willing to give up in order to achieve my goals?
What steps do I have to take to fulfill my goals?
Ensure that you write down the answers to the above question. You can also think about some questions that relate to your particular situation and add them to the list. The goal of this exercise is to give you a vision for where your marriage can go and the tools to take you there.
4. Stick to the Plan
Finally, you need to be dedicated to the plan for the rest of your marriage. It is senseless to improve your marriage today and next year revert to your old actions and ways of thinking. Make a commitment that what you learn throughout this e-course will remain with you forever.
Mark and Lesia Gregory are Marriage Counselors & Wedding Planners with over 10 years of experience. They have been guest speakers at marriage workshops hosted by The Kingston Church of Christ, made appearance on RJR (a local radio station), authors of the e-books "The Marriage Thermometer: Lets get your marriage steaming hot", "How to improve your sex life", audiobook "How to get your family out of debt", creators of "The Wife Toolkit", “Keep Him Satisfied….At Home” and "The Marriage Thermometer" software. Visit their web site: The Marriage Thermometer
They have never had an argument lasting more than 15 Minutes and have never gone to bed upset with each other.