Remember when your heart simply soared at the sight of your lover? What has happened to those wonderful feelings? Have the fireworks fizzled? The stresses of building careers, raising families, paying bills, meeting commitments leave little time for relationships.
Each person in a commited relationship wants to feel that the partner gets his or her essence. When there is no time and energy set aside to nurture the relationship/marriage the fireworks fizzle and each partner feels emotionally alone.
How can one start to rekindle the emotional connection? When feeling alone, it is only natural to want the other person to show real caring first. Instead, what I am suggesting is that you begin by focusing on the needs of your partner. Here are seven tips for reconnecting with your partner.
1. Maintain a positive attitude
Embrace a positive attitude and you will soon find yourself irresistable. You will be amazed how responsive your partner becomes and how much easier it is for you to practice a positive attitude. Keep it up and your relationship will start to shift positively.
2. Do acts of random kindness
It is the little things that have a long lasting effect on love. What would give your partner pleasure today? Try doing something you know would please your partner. Call to say "I love you" for no reason, do what you said you were going to do, or take that extra minute by going above and beyond to please your partner.
3. Appreciate and acknowledge the positive
Pay attention to what your partner does that pleases you and then acknowledge it. When you spot a loving act, speak up! Don't let a single opportunity pass you by. Always let your partner know how much he or she means to you and how appreciative you are of each small caring action.
4. Listen with an open heart
Hear what your partner is saying with an openness of heart. You came together by choice accepting your different backgrounds and upbringing. Step back and see your partner objectively. When you do that, you will hear and accept whatever is said as belonging to your partner. Listening objectively allows you to hear with an open heart and not from fear and anxiety.
5. Be fair
Inside yourself you know what it means to be fair in your relationship. When you act with integrity and are fair you will automatically do the right thing for you and your partner.
6. Let go of blame, criticism, and judgment
These three relationship killers put you into a danger zone as to who is right and who is wrong. Communicate how you are feeling and thinking by using the pronoun I. When speaking clearly for yourself your partner will hear you rather than be defensive. This will build trust and create intimacy between you.
7. Love your partner
Get back with all the qualities you first admired and adored about your partner. What was it that first attracted you to him or her? As you look deeply at what you love about your partner, you can rekindle your love and build a vibrant relationship.
Kristina von Rosenvinge teaches people how to build self-mastery and satisfying relationships. She believes that the time spent on selfgrowth increases ones ability to create vibrant relationships. She brings 40 years of experience as a therapist, business owner, coach, and educator.