What’s in a long distance relationship (LDR)? Continents, seas, and mountains stand between two people who apparently love each other. Different area codes, time zones, and often different cultures – a whole new world, in fact – are the realities that a couple in a LDR have to face constantly. Whether your honey is going away on an extended trip or you fell in love with someone in another continent, long distance relationships will always be tougher than you expected. Making a long distance relationship work is hard: it is never meant for the fainthearted. It requires a great deal of trust, commitment and communication as well as a fair amount of ground rules.
Studies show that a majority of long distance relationships eventually break up, which makes people think that being in one is a bad idea and it would never work. It is tough, indeed, but never impossible. In fact, many people involved in a LDR eventually get married and become happy. Today’s technology makes it easier for a couple to survive long distance relationships. The internet can be a couple’s best friend: getting in touch isn’t as hard as it used to be. A couple can stay connected through emails, real-time voice calls, and high-definition video calls. Communication is, and will always be, the key to a healthy relationship—especially in a LDR.
It’s more important than ever to constantly communicate with your honey, even if it’s just to say hello. “Constantly” doesn’t mean every couple of minutes, though. This is a bit juvenile and can be downright annoying. Every couple of days will do (on weekends, or on off-work days), lest insecurities may surface. A short phone call or a few minutes of seeing each other via webcam is enough to quell the loneliness of being apart. A successful long distance relationship isn’t achieved by only one person. Each person must commit in making it work. Here are some LDR tips to help you achieve a long and lasting love: Basic rules and parameters must be established in order to avoid conflicts.
Be clear with the nature of the relationship, whether you can date other people or be exclusive, how often you will communicate in a week and holidays that you would like to spend with each other. Daily communication is possible, even if you don’t have time to talk on the phone. You could update each other by swapping emails, or via text messages. The growth and stability of a relationship also depends on how often you express your feelings to each other. Stability is achieved by reassuring your partner about your commitment. True, action speaks louder than words, but in a LDR, the spoken word is important.
Speak out—tell your partner how much you miss and love him/her. It’s not being cheesy; it’s simply letting out what you really feel. Conflicts often arise in a LDR due to trust issues. Before getting involved in a LDR, ask yourself whether you are capable of trusting another person. Honesty and trust are major necessities in a LDR, as well as in any other relationship. Unnecessary paranoia and doubts will lead to nothing but failure. Arguments and squabbles are just as normal in a LDR as in any relationship. It’s easy to blow off one’s anger when on the phone, so try to be patient.
Listen to what your partner is saying—avoid cutting him/her off in the middle of a sentence. A successful long distance relationship requires time and effort. It may require more from a couple, and can be quite taxing. But then again, it can be a test of true love.
The author of this article Ruth Purple is a Relationships Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Ruth recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.relazine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.