It starts off as curiosity about you.
"Hey Marlene, did you just publish a book?" Julia waived me over to join her at the local networking event inviting me into her little cluster of friends that included two guys and another female.
How exciting, I thought. I get to be introduced to others AND talk about my book.
Once I said, "Yes," the conversation shifted instantly and the invitation to join in on the networking turned into a 1-woman monologue.
Now that Julia had an audience and a stage, the four of us got to hear all about...
· The latest deal she made
· How much her job sucks
· The offers she gets from the competition
· What she's really good at
· What others say she is good at
In addition we had privy to why Julia "STAYS" at a job that sucks and how she "works the system" to get what she really deserves.
Julia made one of the biggest mistakes I see entrepreneurs, network marketers, and small business owners make. They turn every conversation into platform for their product or a platform to get attention.
Almost every sentence started out with something like, "What I'm really good at," or "What I told my boss was," and "I've always said that..."
Blah, blah, blah.
Her audience stood there, drinks in hand, politely nodding and smiling. For over 10 minutes no one else uttered a word. Julia's eyes glistened as shared her sales stories. The more time passed the more animated she became.
I have to admit, I was entertained. I knew the experience was a good article about what not to do when networking. In addition, I had spotted a "stage hog" and deep down, I know it takes one to know one. You see, when you have "healed" a pattern in yourself, you can see it in others and have compassion instead of judgment.
Yes, it's easy to hook someone. Ask them a question about themselves. Where you lose them is at any one of these points:
1. Talking too much about yourself instead of finding out about them
2. Trying to sell your product instead of building a relationship
3. Going from passion about your product to fatal attraction
4. Not sharing the stage
Even when people are nodding and smiling, most people know what is really going on. They know when you are interested and when you are trying to impress. They know when you are trying to solve a problem or when you are just trying to make a sale.
If you really want to build relationships, (and I've had to learn this the hard way too) it is done by talking less and listening more.
Marlene Chism is the founder of Stop Your Drama and the author of Success is a Given. Marlene works with spiritually-minded entrepreneurs and business owners who are in a stage of reinvention. Marlene regularly speaks about the Stop Your Drama Methods on her Signature Series Calls.