There will never be a more exciting time to retire than today. Retirement will pose opportunities and challenges that will make your journey an individual and very interesting one.
If you are like most preretirees and retirees, you hope to (1) spend time with loved ones and friends, (2) live a life that is meaningful and fulfilling, and (3) leave a legacy. The seven REFLECT elements—Resiliency, Equilibrium, Forgiveness, Life Meaning, Extending Gratitude and Enjoyment, Cultivating Gifts and Strengths, and Transition and Transformation—will help you recraft a meaningful and enriching retirement.
Begin to REFLECT by focusing on being rather than on having and doing. At first, this may feel radical to you, but still only do the things that are deeply meaningful to you. If you desire extra revenue, consider turning something you are passionate about into a supplementary income. If finances are not an issue, then find a volunteer or vocational activity to support your passion. Do not currently have a passion? You have the answers deep within. You just need a little time, and a bit of guidance, to find your truth.
One of the best ways to approach something unknown is to seek information from others who have gone before you. Some of the insights my clients have shared with me when asked what they have learned from retirement follow.
Resiliency
A number of changes comes with retirement, just as with any other life stage. A positive attitude about your ability to make a productive transition is key. If you do not feel hardy, there are techniques that can be used to strengthen your resiliency. Alice is a good example of someone who is recruiting her resiliency resources. Severe health issues facing her brother, husband, and mother impact Alice. She is managing the challenge using downward comparisons by recognizing others are experiencing worse crises: “My heart goes out to the children I see at the cancer center. I can only imagine how hard this must be for them and their families.” She is reshaping the negative into a positive by being grateful she can be with her brother the last days of his life: “I’m grateful that I’m retired and that I don’t have to try to balance work, and the chemo, and radiation treatment.” She vigorously disputes any defeating thoughts that enter her mind: “I argue with myself as I would with my best friend when I get into a funk and I think I can’t go on. I think of every possible reason why I am the perfect person for this challenge.” She also is employing self-care measures to ensure she stays well balanced.
Equilibrium
Balance the time you spend in each area of your life. You most likely spent much of your time at work. Now is the time to focus on you and your self-care and development. Delve into spiritual renewal, leisure activities, and family and social activities. Replace work with meaningful service at home, in your community, or on an even broader scale. Anthony says, “Between work and daily living activities, I neglected myself to the point that I don’t even know what I want the rest of my missing life to entail. It’s time to explore me.”
Forgiveness
Anger or animosity can torment you physically or emotionally. Release your hurt. Maureen says, “It helps to recognize we’re all imperfect, to accept that I am also in some way a contributor to the situation.” Do whatever it takes to release the bond your oppressor holds over you. Ask for assistance from a higher power; send love and good intentions to your adversary. To hold on to resentment only hurts you, not the tormenter. You cannot be a hostage and all that you can be simultaneously.
Life Meaning
To fully flourish in retirement, it is critical to have something you can sink your teeth into. Having fun is pleasurable; doing things you are good at, or becoming good at things you always wanted to do is engaging. Yet real-life meaning comes from taking your gifts, talents, and strengths out into the world and making it a better place for others. The selfless act of mentoring, instructing, or perhaps healing others is what will bring deep meaning in retirement. Pete says, “I’m having a better time teaching in retirement than anything I ever did in my former day job.”
Extending Gratitude and Enjoyment
Be thankful every day for being able to rise from your sleep. Be grateful for the ability to see the morning light and to hear the birds chirp. For the fresh water you drink. For the air you breathe. Perfect health is not required in order to be grateful. Be grateful for your beating heart, for your “good” leg, and take time to recount good things, perhaps in a journal. Express your gratitude to others. Your enjoyment of life will be multiplied if you recognize, savor, and record in detail the best things in life—which are often free! Sylvia has found great pleasure in her garden: “I’m in awe of the beauty that surrounds me outdoors that I didn’t have time for before retirement.”
Cultivating Gifts and Strengths
Each of us comes to this world with some innate talents. We later learn an incredible number of skills and lessons along our journey. Retirement affords you the opportunity to share your unique gifts and strengths. And it gives you the time required to pursue lifelong learning opportunities that can foster emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental capabilities. A wise sage named Mille reminded me that “age does not necessarily equate to wisdom. Age is a given. Wisdom must be earned.” Be open-minded, curious, and willing to explore your memories and beliefs, your desires and your dreams, your secrets and your fears, and how you relate to others. If in retirement you experience a disabled body, seek ways to use your limitless mind in stimulating ways.
Transition and Transformation
Wanda says, “While life was good when you worked, it is even better when you retire.” It is, once you identify pursuits that are fulfilling, endeavors that offer you ample socialization, and compensate you in a manner that is pleasing to you, that utilizes your time effectively, and that cause you to feel good about who you are and about what you are contributing. Once you have mastered this challenge, you will know that you have moved from simply doing to being. You will know you have transitioned when you feel content and satisfied.
Retirement is less about doing and more about savoring the process, enjoying the journey and fully experiencing life by identifying where you find meaning each and every day. A meaningful life to you will be different from that of your friends, neighbors, and yes, even than that of your family or spouse. You must find your hidden treasures by exploring the map that lies within yourself and no one else.
REFLECT, dig deep, and be willing to let go of old limiting beliefs and to test out new things. Explore, experiment, and give yourself permission to stop doing things simply out of obligation or habit, the things that do not truly bring you fulfillment.
Retirement is a journey you will enjoy. If you trust the process, if you have faith in the goodness that exists for you, and if you take the time to truly explore the truth that lies within you, the reward will be rich.
** This article is one of 101 great articles that were published in 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. To get complete details on “101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life”, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/greatways3.html
Halette M. King-Meyer, PhD, has worked with individuals in transition for 16 years at American Express, Catholic Charities, General Motors, and Goodwill Industries, among other companies. Dr. Meyer coaches pre- and post-retirees though the retirement phase of life. To increase an individual’s baseline happiness, Halette offers Authentic Happiness Coaching workshops and one-on-one sessions. Halette also prepares women at a transitional housing facility for a life of independence. She has championed a welfare-to-work reform initiative designed to move welfare recipients to self-sufficiency. She has also guided associates and managers into the team environment and new hires into technical operations positions. To discuss retirement or craft a retirement options plan, visit Dr. Meyer at http://www.theheartofliving.com.