Should I Stay in This Relationship?

Should I stay in this relationship or end it? This may be the hardest question you will ask yourself.  Sometimes people give up too soon on a relationship.  They are not willing to put the effort into making it work.  Now, I’m not saying that you should stay in a bad relationship, but you do need to spend some time analyzing the situation before making a decision.

With more than half of all marriages ending in divorce, it makes you wonder what has gone wrong.  Can you simply fall out of  love? I have heard people say that “they love their partner, but they are not IN love with them“.

You have to realize that the “fireworks” that you experience in the beginning of a relationship will eventually tone down.  Is this what people are craving is the “fireworks” and when it fizzles down they are saying that they are not “IN” love anymore?  It’s something to think about.

Relationships do take some work - a lot of compromise on both sides.  You need to take some time by yourself, in quiet meditation, and really think this through.  Visualize your life without your partner.  Would it make you happy?  Would you miss them?  What would you be doing?  Would you be lonely?  How would your life change? Don’t make any spur of the moment decisions; take your time.  Is it possible to have an open and honest discussion with your spouse?  Would it help?   Can the problems be worked out?

Before you can have a successful relationship with anyone,, you must love yourself first. The key to loving yourself is to get to know yourself. Many people do not take the time out of their busy lives to just spend time alone. It is very important to have what I call "quiet time" every day. Try to spend at least fifteen minutes a day in quiet solitude and just let your mind wander. It is a great way to get in touch with your feelings and get to know the real you. I do this first thing in the morning before anyone else gets up. I get my coffee and sit on the couch and just let my mind go where it wants. It's a great way to start the day instead of getting up and rushing like a wild person.

You must also treat yourself with respect. Don't say ugly things to yourself - such as looking in the mirror and saying "Oh you are so fat!" Don't say to yourself "Oh I'll never be able to do that". You must cheer yourself on - just like you would a friend. Always think positively about yourself. When you think and say good things to yourself - you start to believe it.

Once you have gotten to the point where you do love yourself, then you will be a better partner. When you feel good about yourself, you have a better outlook on life. People enjoy being around you.

If you follow this advice, you will find that your relationships improve and you are a much happier person. If you expect the “fireworks” to last forever in your relationships, then I think you are in for a let down every time. Usually after the fireworks, a relationship settles in to a more stable and comfortable environment. It is not as exciting but it is more comforting.

Your happiness is what matters the most.  You have to do what is right for you, but don’t rush into a breakup without really thinking it through.  Follow your intuition. It is usually right.