When I was a little girl, growing up and going to a Congregational church with my grandmother and later a Presbyterian church with my sister, I saw God as a being who sat in heaven and spoke to me. In other words, my view of God was personified. I was also taught that Jesus Christ was the Son of God and that he died for our sins, and that when Adam and Eve disobeyed God's laws in the Garden of Eden, from that point on all children would be born in sin. It was only through the salvation of Jesus Christ that I could be saved and go to heaven when I died. I understood clearly that those who were not Christians would not go to heaven, but to a terrible place called hell.
While, as a child, I could feel the love of God and Jesus in my heart, I had a bit of a problem with the teaching that those who were not Christians would go to hell at the end of their human lives. My father was Jewish, as were my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins on my father's side. I found it hard to believe that my mother's Christian side of the family had a chance to go to heaven, but my father's family did not. This was not a problem that I felt comfortable discussing with either of my parents, so I took this problem to God. After all, he should know, as these were supposedly his rules.
God and I got along just fine, and I felt protected and loved. I knelt by my bed often and talked to God about all that went on. The beauty of this relationship sustained me through many family challenges, and I treasured my time with God. However, I did not resolve my confusion about heaven and hell. I received no answers or explanations and continued to wonder how God, whose presence I felt, could ever do anything but help people when they died -- no matter who they were.
When it came time for my Christian confirmation, I stood before the pastor of our church and the congregation to repeat my vows. As I did so, I had my fingers crossed behind my back. As I repeated the vows out loud, I had my own inner and silent conversation with God. I said, "While I am repeating these vows, I need you to know that I do not believe all that I am saying. I believe in you, God, but I do not believe in all that I have been taught. I feel that somehow those around me do not have the real story about who you are. I am committing myself to you, God, as I am being confirmed today, but I am not confirming to you or to myself that I believe all of the words I am repeating and ways of thinking about you that I have been taught."
Looking back on this early childhood spiritual experience, I am aware of how important it was for me, a child of about thirteen, to be truthful to God. I didn't mind repeating these vows, but I did not want to lie to God, because I knew that it was God who was supreme and not the church. I was not angry at the church. I just felt that the leaders of the Presbyterian churches were very well-meaning people who had not gotten it right as far as God and heaven were concerned. I kept these views to myself for a very long time.
A Deal Is Made
One day, on a beautiful spring morning in church, I made an important deal with God. While sitting on the choir bench waiting to sing with the choir, I saw a sphere of light flood the church -- light that I felt others did not see and that was directed right at me. It was as if I left my physical body and my spirit merged with that sphere of light for a conversation with God. I was told that I was being called to help others during my life on earth. As a young teenage musician and actress, I protested and told God that I wanted to be on the stage. I wanted to go into show business. God listened in the calm manner that I had come to expect and then told me, "OK, Carole, for the first half of your adult life you will be a performer and do all the things you want to do. Then in the second half of your adult life you will work for me." That sounded extremely reasonable, and so after thinking about it for a few minutes, I agreed, and a spiritual deal was made.
A Middle-Aged Woman Keeps the Bargain
God kept his part of the deal and paved the way for my work as a musician during my twenties, thirties, and forties. I had a great time working as a singer/dancer on TV shows produced in Manhattan, being part of Equity summer stock companies, working as a singer on TV and radio commercials, and working as a singer/guitarist in many clubs in New York, California, and Massachusetts. I also had a busy practice coaching singers and public speakers.
It was during my forties and early fifties that I began to have clear visions of Spirit, started channeling, and joined a Spiritualist church. My ability to see those who have passed over came on very quickly, and before I knew it, I was working on Spiritualist platforms, doing demonstrations of spirit communication. My professional life began to change; I needed to stop performing in concerts and stop coaching musicians and public speakers in order to have time to do readings and demonstrations. I kept my bargain with God.
As I look back, I wonder if I would have had visions of Spirit earlier in my life if I had not made that bargain with God. As a child, I had agreed that while I was willing to work for God in whatever way God had in mind, I wanted to be a performer first. Perhaps God actually kept visions of spirits from me until I had the opportunity to work as a musician and was ready to take on the responsibility of being a psychic medium. As I realized I was a psychic medium, I knew it was going to be a huge responsibility -- a spiritual path, quite frankly -- that I would not have been mature enough to cope with when I was younger.
The above is an excerpt from the book Cosmic Connection: Messages for a Better World by Carole Lynne. The above excerpt is a digitally scanned reproduction of text from print. Although this excerpt has been proofread, occasional errors may appear due to the scanning process. Please refer to the finished book for accuracy.
Copyright © 2009 Carole Lynne, author of Book Cosmic Connection: Messages for a Better World
Reprinted with permission from Red Wheel/Weiser LLC., Cosmic Connection: Messages for a Better World by Carole Lynne is available wherever books are sold or directly from the publisher at 1-800-423-7087 or www.weiserbooks.com
Carole Lynne is the author of Cosmic Connection: Messages for a Better World. She is also the author of the award winning book Consult Your Inner Psychic, and How to Get a Good Reading From a Psychic Medium. To learn more about Carole Lynne visit www.carolelynnecosmicconnection.com or www.carolelynne.com