Feelings are not facts. This is important to understand because when we are under the influence of a strong feeling, we have the sense this feeling will never end. If the feeling is anger, we are consumed with fiery heat. If the feeling is sadness, we are heavy, lethargic. If the feeling is happiness, we are light-hearted and energized.
In reality, feelings are a flow of 'e-motion,' or energy in motion.
Anger can become chronic hostility, sadness can become ongoing depression, and happiness, when it abates, can leave us disappointed and afraid we'll never feel happy again.
Or, perhaps, we repress our feelings, trapping and freezing the e-motion that we are afraid to feel. For men, freezing sadness is common, and for women, freezing anger is typical. As we learn that all feelings are there, whether we find them acceptable or not, it becomes healthier to let the energy move through us.
What a relief to realize that painful feelings do not have to last indefinitely! We can direct our breath into the feeling, choosing to consciously breathe through the feeling, and that will help it move -- letting it be exactly what it is, energy in motion. Initially, this may cause an increase in intensity, but just as a wave swells before it breaks, so does emotion.
Find a psychotherapist or body worker to help you identify and contact your emotions. Let this healer be a witness and a midwife to birthing your feelings, so that you can be informed - rather than imprisoned -- by the emotional information they provide.
Don't let feelings deceive you into believing they are made of concrete or that they are concrete - neither sense of the word applies. Feelings are subjective and can change very quickly, depending upon how you interpret whatever set off the feeling in the first place.
You will feel more balanced and confident as you become comfortable with emotional energy flowing through you. And then you'll be a role model and an inspiration for others.
© 2009 Amy Torres
All rights reserved worldwide
Amy Torres is a Gestalt psychotherapist, interfaith minister, and yoga instructor. She teaches A Course in Miracles, which is the foundation of all her work. She has developed the Language of Love, Harmony & Beauty©, a form of emotionally responsible communication, conflict negotiation, and a way of "undoing" our identification with the ego. For more information go to www.amytorresacim.com