The 4 Most Important Self-Esteem Building Words to Say to Children

There’s one 4-word phrase that single-handedly builds self-esteem, creates confidence in your children and causes kids to believe in themselves. Unfortunately, many parents don’t say it enough. That phrase is I'M PROUD OF YOU. Here’s why…

Kids are born with very high levels of belief in themselves, their abilities, and what they deserve to have or experience in life. As parents, we need to do whatever we can to make sure they hold on to those positive beliefs.

Enriching children’s natural self-esteem and confidence isn’t difficult to do, especially if you start early in their childhood, but it certainly must be an intentional and consistent parenting practice so it becomes a part of their internal programming.

What happens with kids is that they hear external language, mostly from their parents or caretakers, during their Imprint Period (ages 0-7), and it then becomes their internal language. So whatever you as a parent say to your kids with your spoken language, or show them with your actions and body language, they’ll begin saying it to themselves. In a short period of time, it can become their internal identity.

Therefore, whatever you want your kids to feel about themselves internally, you’ve got to reinforce it to them externally. And one of the most powerful feelings a person can have, one that creates unlimited belief, confidence and self-sufficiency, is PRIDE.

In all my experiences within my own journey, as well as coaching people through internal transformations, pride is the most powerful force that drives human behavior. Children who are genuinely proud of themselves don’t need external acceptance from their peers. They will always want it, and probably enjoy it. But they won’t NEED it, which is a huge difference.

However, if they don’t think their parents are proud of them, they more than likely won’t be proud of themselves, and they are going to seek that pride elsewhere. They’ll constantly seek others’ opinions and approval, which leaves them much more susceptible to self-defeating behaviors and habits such as defiance, substance abuse, bullying, depression, eating disorders, suicide, and any of the numerous ways our children hurt themselves and each other every single day.

Pride is more important than love for a child’s self-esteem. Let’s face it – your children know you love them. After all, you’re their parent. You’re supposed to love them. They want to know if you LIKE them. Are you proud of who they are as a person and who they’re becoming, unconditionally?

Here’s an empowered parenting gem – before you go to bed every night, whisper in your sleeping child’s ear that you are proud of him/her. The unconscious mind never sleeps and it believes whatever it hears over and over and over again.

I’M PROUD OF YOU. Say it early. Say it often. Say it loud. I challenge you to tell your kids at least 5 times a day how proud you are of them, and why. It’s the absolute best thing in the world for their self image.