On Becoming an Elder

“It takes one a long time to grow young” wrote Pablo Picasso. How true! When we are young, we are all wrinkled up in side. As we dare to become more and more of our true selves, those inner wrinkles become smooth as a baby’s skin. I am so glad most of my wrinkles are now on the outside.

One way to reclaim our lives is to ask ourselves what have been the most significant passages in our life. It is a great way to sort out what definitions have been imposed on us, and what have been the genuine turning points in our growth and development. I began this process seriously as I approached fifty. My 50th birthday poem describes each significant passage in terms of how I saw myself at each phase of growth, ending with:

At fifty, I am free to be
All of the “me”s reflected in friends and family tree,
At fifty, I am free to BE ---

Have you ever experienced how the moment of your greatest joy, freedom and accomplishment can be a prelude to major change and loss? Although I had achieved all I had ever wanted at fifty, there was a sense of something missing. None of the “me’’s I had embraced felt REAL. The search for the missing piece led me to my Self. So five years later, I wrote:

At fifty-five, I am my SELF,
Being, freeing, seeking ALONE
Trusting the God-dance that brought me here,
Open and flowing with all that is going
Trusting knowing Not Knowing,
I am that I am that I am.

Now that I was mySelf, my names no longer fit who I was. So I changed my name, blessings each of my former names as I released them.

The truth of who we are is constantly evolving. The seasons of our lives do not seem to align with the movements of the stars, the seasons, birthdays, or any other culturally defined passages. Our innermost soul determines when and how the significant passages occur. Now that I had become myself, I discovered that:

At sixty-three, I am free to be
My selfless Other
Less Self, more Other.

There is no end to the soul’s journey into at-one-ment with the All That Is. My journey has taken me into remembrance of lifetimes in many forms, dimensions and realms throughout the galaxy. It is a mysterious, exciting journey. And at seventy, defining who I am is no longer important…

Who is I?
Who is me?
At seventy, it’s all the same
The game is up
No-one to blame
Time to live without blame or shame
Always present
Honoring the Presence
Joy and Laughter
Love and Light
Finally
After all these years of blight.