"All the cool stuff you need to feel good about who you are rests inside of you. Time to be your own cake so that someone else's kind words are the icing." - Heart Messages
We all have the amazing capacity to increase our own self worth or self-esteem, to get to a place where we are able to stand up right on our own two feet emotionally. Knowing that and actually feeling worthy or good about ourselves is a whole different kettle of fish. The fact is, as important as validation from others may be, if we don't feel good about who we are, no amount of kind words will give us that long-lasting feeling of positive self worth. Sadly, without that positive self worth, the effects of kind words, loving compliments, and positive feedback are fleeting.
By now you may be asking, "So what can I do to increase my levels of self-esteem or self worth? " While the answer may take some time to appear, here are a few thoughts and suggestions to help increase the levels:
1. Stop the self-deprecating talk. Negative self talk, put downs, and disparaging remarks at one's own expense does nothing more than lower self-esteem and self worth. Even when comments are made in jest, at a subconscious level they are doing a number on you as a person. Make a commitment over a period of 21 days to say nothing negative about yourself to yourself or anyone else. A great way to keep yourself accountable is to buy a rubber bracelet and place it on your wrist. The objective is to keep the bracelet on that same wrist for 21 days straight. Here's the kicker, if at any time negative self talk rears it's head, you must remove the bracelet from your one wrist and place it on the other, starting all over from Day 1 until you can reach Day 21 without moving the bracelet.
2. Get plenty of rest and recharge. It is so easy for negativity to creep in when we are feeling run down. Make sure to get a good night's sleep, schedule in some downtime for yourself to relax, or meditate for 10 minutes each day. You'll be amazed at what even 10 minutes of recharge can do for your mental well-being.
3. Celebrate the wins. It is so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day so much so that we often forget to celebrate even the smallest of victories. Capture those wins in a pocket size notebook and read them to yourself, acknowledging your efforts.
4. Get a different perspective on you. Ask close friends and family to provide you with positive feedback, sharing with you positive words that they feel describe you. Capture those words in notebook and read them daily.
5. Get creative and come up with some powerful affirmations. For example, "I am smart, beautiful, and loveable." Remember, in order for affirmations to be effective they MUST be in the present tense. Be sure to read your affirmations once in the morning as you are waking up and once at night as your going to sleep.
Whatever strategy you develop for increasing your self-esteem or self worth, just know you truly are the cake and everyone else's positive thoughts of you are the icing!
Pam Thomas is a passion purveyor, change agent, internal beauty coach, and a mover and shaker maker aka International Coach Federation certified Life and Corporate Coach. She is also the author of the e-workbook series Will the Real YOU Please Step Forward and free e-course Getting Your Groove On; 10 Kick Ass Ways to Supercharge Your Life. Pam’s passion is supporting others in finding their voices and she has years of experience in empowering people to become their most powerful and confident selves. She has successfully worked with groups and individuals who have started their own businesses, increased their self confidence, enhanced their internal beauty, gained clarity around their life’s passion, taken dreams from paper to reality, become more productive in their careers, and mastered work/life balance. Pam can be reached at pam@whatswithinu.com.