Time is a very important factor in each and every field of life. Everybody knows its importance and management strategies very well. Unfortunately, in the field of psychology, time is not given so much importance. We go to psychologists when finish with all doctors and practitioners in the field of medicine. The psychologist is given the last hope and usually we are never mentally convinced to get advice on our personal matters.
Psychological problems are like medical problems. In cancer researches, we are aware of the importance of time as well. Most of the cancers if are early diagnosed, can be treated well, and patients become healthy, free of cancer, and live happily. The same case is true with patients of psychological disorders. Patient of any kind of disorder needs some early diagnoses otherwise the procedure will be lengthy and ineffective.
Nature provides us enough time to develop the emotional life style that if we miss, we could not overcome the time loss. For example: a mother thinks, after ten years of motherhood, about giving time to her son or daughter! Here she could not fill the gap so easily. It is not impossible to do anything in this world, but my emphasis is that the things done in time are far much better than things done at the wrong time. So we need to educate people about the importance of time in emotional relationships.
Likewise in couples, if there is a gap of attachment for a long period (10 years or so), the gap is never going to fill. The gap could be of communication, intimacy, care, or of any other kind. Things that are not attended for the long time sometimes could not be tackled successfully as there is tremendous damage on the surface of the heart.
Beliefs that you carry are not always positive. If you carry negative beliefs with you for a long time, you will never ever understand what is wrong with you. There are many concepts, beliefs, quotes that guide us but we need to analyze them truly and check them monthly or annually if they deserve a place in your life. Because if you carry a negative belief, it will be a string of thousand negative beliefs after a few years and then your life might be at risk too.
In the same manner, our self-esteem works. A person feeling low in some category of life should be assessed and taught on how to raise self-esteem in that category. If he/she ignores it for a long time, things will be dangerously negative to mend.
Some would argue that time is the best medicine – we feel better after passing some time. We need to understand that time will help us to forget what is miserable and depressing. But the experience itself will create a chain of other similar experiences if we do not change our mind-set/belief or attitude that is the cause of the incident. Taking an example: a person having an accident may forget the event in the future but if he/she behaves in the same manner on the road, would most likely to have another accident. It means we need to watch our attitudes critically because the sufferings caused by some attitudes would not stop unless we stop our attitude (belief triggering attitude). And all this assessment must be done in time otherwise there will not be anything left to change!
Any attitude that is crossing limits is wrong and negative. So if someone thinks that he is under the influence of some obsession in a negative way, he/she must consult with related psychologists to avoid delay and its related outcomes. Usually people do not care about their feelings and keep on experimenting things in life, to suffer and regret. Many obsessions are curable and should be treated in time otherwise they become our habits not to change and become the part of our personality forever.
In this regard, a single step, a single thought, a single check , a little improvement , a little change, a little betterment could create a huge satisfaction, happiness, and pleasant feelings. So people must keep an eye on their sufferings- if they are caused by some wrong belief /concept, they need to tailor it in time. Recovery may take time, but starting a diagnosing procedure is prerequisite, if we want to be happy and in peace of mind.
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Mona Aeysha, PhD, is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist, have been working as a Teacher and Researcher in several institutes of Pakistan and Cambodia. Her major areas of interest are: self –esteem, self-concept, conceptual psychology, belief psychology, self psychology, preferential psychology, cultural psychology and women psychology.
You are always welcome to contact her via email if you have any query in this regard.
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Dr Mona