Do you want to know the real secret to motivating your child? The answer is simple: Effective Consequences.
This guide, Effective Consequences 101, is designed to provide the perfect foundation for effective consequences so that you can start using them today in your home.
What are Effective Consequences?
They are consequences that really motivate your child, because they are things that they really value. It’s likely that you are already giving your child a lot of things, regardless of their behavior or help around the home. These are all things that you can use to motivate your child and you can make them conditional; your child will only get these privileges if they are following home rules and if not they will lose them.
What can be Effective Consequences?
The great thing about using effective consequences is your home is that you can just change the way you give things that you are already giving to your child. You don’t need to introduce new rewards or treats, because everything you give to your child above and beyond their basic needs is a privilege.
For example any of the following could be considered privileges:
All of these things can be conditional on good behavior and meeting the house rules. We suggest that you set up a home contract and then allocate certain consequences, both positive and negative based on your child’s compliance.
One of the most effective ways of implementing effective consequences is to ensure that your child has to earn everything. Just as you earn your wage at work, if your child wants a certain privilege they should have to earn it through good behavior and doing their chores around the home.
Why do Effective Consequences Work?
As a parent you are in control of what your child can have access to or what you provide them with. There will be things your child wants that you can use as a leverage tool to ensure good behavior. Effective consequences are so effective because they motivate your child by providing or restricting access to things that matter to them. As your child gets older their social group will become more and more important to them, so consequences that prevent them from or allow them to spend more time with their friends or keep in contact will be hugely motivating.
How to Implement Effective Consequences
The best way to implement effective consequences is hand in hand with a behavior contract. By formalizing things in pen it prevents ambiguity in the home and allows your child to clearly predict the outcomes based on their behavior choices. You can include things like chores and school responsibilities in the contract so that your child can be clear about what is expected of them in all areas of their life.
Benefits of Effective Consequences
The main benefit is that it gives you, as a parent, much more leverage in managing your child’s behavior and actions. You can shape your child’s actions to be in more inline with what you want from your family, while providing them with the same benefits and privileges that they have come to expect; it doesn’t cost you anything extra to motivate your child – you simply need to reshape the way you are giving them things.
Have you tried implementing effective consequences in your home? Did you find it a positive overall experience?
With this guide to Effective Consequences 101 you’ll be ready to totally transform your teen’s behavior and mindset!
Jade Robinson has more than 18 years of experience working with Teens and Adolescents. Using his experience, he has developed a system (called Home Contract) that allows parents to easily set up new boundaries and rules with their teens. It is an ideal and effective way to improve a particular habit by implementing a home based parent child contract. More details at HomeContract.Org