The beliefs that we love or hate usually are part of ourselves and we are primary caretaker of them. We want to preserve them at any cost and would not lose them for any price. Sometimes we have to pay a heavy price to keep our wordings, principles and beliefs. Beliefs simply represent us and we are known what we are due to our beliefs.
Have you ever thought about your beliefs credibility? Often we ignore the logical explanation for our beliefs as we intend to keep them and do not want to hear any argument against them. Especially the religious ones that most of us concern with great trust and adaptability. For our peace of mind, it is a good practice but what about trouble giving beliefs! Especially if depression is caused by our own beliefs?
Not in all circumstances, our beliefs are wrong. Here I am focusing only those beliefs that need to examine thoroughly and critically to give us relief from our anxieties and worries. We usually form them through books, media education and cultural messages. We usually trust other important persons around us and follow their beliefs unconsciously. There could be many sources of information in this regard and we have no limit to explore them.
There is a quick checklist in this process of elimination of unnecessary beliefs. Will you try to follow the steps as follows?
• My problem is that ……
• The possible beliefs underneath are…….
• The belief causing trouble is ……..
• Is there any logic to believe something firmly in the way I do ……………………
• Is my belief seriously affecting my life……………..
• Can I think differently if I try…………….
• What are the dangers of leaving my conviction…..
• Would I get a new ‘me’ after leaving my belief…..
• Do I feel better by thinking opposite to my belief….
If the answers to above check list support your belief then carry on with it; if they reject your belief, try to interfere in your belief by intruding new concepts and by critically discussing older ones. This is how you could easily get rid of your own woven thread of beliefs.
Meeting with different people and understanding about their diverse personalities would provide a great help in this regard. Beliefs are not clothes that you may change easily rather you will have to work on it and progress slowly and steadily.
It depends on the personality type too; if you are flexible minded you will be at ease to judge your beliefs and if you are rigid minded, things will be too hard to change for you.
Communication is the key in this process. You may discuss your beliefs with friends, relatives, online people, forums or any place you like. Realizing your mistake would solve half of your problem and the other half will be solved by discussions on the topic.
Things are more complicated when your beliefs contradict with others beliefs and both parties think they are at right place. Sometimes we could not convince others our view point logically but our belief is stronger than the other’s. So things become much more complicated in such matters. If you are facing something like it, you must increase your knowledge to support your argument and belief otherwise your own mind will keep on struggling for the answers till the time you are not fully convinced.
Unattended beliefs are like tree branches that need some finishing. Those beliefs hurt our image in front of others. We need to find out what are those beliefs that others simply do not want in our personality and we unconsciously are not aware of them. When we come to know this fact, we just do not allow ourselves to support such beliefs and protect ourselves with strong and powerful ones instead. For example, you are obsessed with the idea that a gentleman always keeps a holy book with him. When you come to know that your friends are very anxious for your habit, you will consider it seriously and think twice to further carry it on in life.
To conclude, it is very important to know about our beliefs in detail as our existence and identity relies on our mindset or beliefs. When we are in trouble due to our beliefs, we need to analyze- is it our belief or something else that is wrong? Then after figuring it out properly, we need to do some homework and decide what to do step by step. Beliefs and especially those buried in our brain long time ago would take some time to fade. It is worth taking some steps in this regard as our life satisfaction is at risk due to their vulnerability and inadequacy.
Thanks
Mona Aeysha, PhD, is an Educational and Developmental Psychologist, have been working as a Teacher, Counselor and Researcher in several institutes of China, Pakistan and Cambodia. Her major areas of interest are: self –esteem, self-concept, conceptual psychology, belief psychology, self psychology, preferential psychology, cultural psychology and women psychology.
You are always welcome to contact her via email if you have any query in this regard.
Thanks
Dr Mona