Do you wish you could tell your partner what you are feeling more easily? Are you looking for a way to have a productive conversation without playing the blame and shame game? Do your "discussions" sometimes last into the wee hours of the night leaving you exhausted the next day?
When you have something important to share with your sweetie, you need these 4 simple steps:
1. Choose the right time for 'you' to have the conversation (consider your time & your energy level)
2. Ask your partner if s/he is willing to talk at that time
3. Be willing to hear 'no' and ask for a better time
4. Schedule the conversation and agree to an ending time
Getting your partner to listen when s/he is not truly available can feel very frustrating -- which only adds to an already charged situation.
If your experience is anything like mine used to be, your life is busy and it's hard to fit time in for anything extra! It's "easier" to avoid difficult conversations than approach them. You are frustrated because you often have to sift your way through the fog of blame and shame (protective parts) to get to the clarity of the heart. You don't feel deeply heard.
Several years ago, I learned there was a different way. Thank goodness! And I teach it to all of my clients!
You and your partner are going to love how easy this is for you both.
TANTRA TIP: Sit together facing each other. Close your eyes and take some deep breaths down into your belly together. Synchronize your breath for a few minutes (feel silly? keep going...trust the process, it works!) When you feel connected via your breath, open your eyes and look deeply at each other.
Make an agreement: one person will share at a time and the listener will reflect back what s/he heard...bit by bit. Slowly....switching speakers as needed.
I recommend you limit your conversation to 1 hour max.
Let me know how it goes!
Robyn Vogel, MA, LMHC, is an intimacy coach who serves the community by offering Tantra-infused counseling to couples, individuals and groups. For 20+ years, she has been supporting others in creating more love in their lives. She has been trained in several body-oriented modalities which support her spiritual approach to healing and her deep connection to this work: Reiki energy healing, Chakra-balancing, Internal Family Systems, yoga therapy, EMDR,and family mediation. Find out more at http://www.SacredTantricFire.com.