These are the 5 love languages of teenagers written by Gary Chapman. Thanks to him that I became more observant of my teenagers' behaviours.
1. Affirmations
2. Physical Touch
3. Quality Time
4. Acts of Service
5. Gifts
Driving your children from one place to another is an act of service. A great opportunity to have a dialogue. Even if it is only for 10 minutes. You will be surprised that you understand your child better. No distraction unless you are listening to the radio. Switch it off and the silence is golden.
Silence give both of you an opportunity to listen to your own thoughts. A space for dialogue.
I realised talking to my son in the car is most beneficial. Act of service seem to be his primary love language. He is happy when I give him a lift to his friend's house. Drive him to school or buy food back for him. I can see his face light up, that is how I know. Observation. He observe my facial expression too. If I don't say anything, some times, he will ask me, "What?" then I realised I was deep in thoughts!
Now in his seventeen years, he is independent in his studies, I don't have to remind him what to do and he is doing well in school.
I didn't get to this harmonious relationship with my teenage son without first building my relationship with him. Before this it was stormy, angry words and fights because of the fire that comes out of me and my husband's mouths! We were often angry. Angry parents raise angry kids.
Letting go of breathing down his neck was one great way of creating a calm and grounded teenager. This is the most challenging thing for me to do as I was a very protective mother. Always telling him what to do and when to do. Expectations of what I want has caused more harm than good. I was very attached to the outcome I want, as a result, caused a lot of pain in the process. Instead of expecting him to do things my way, I chose to build relationship with him first.
If you like these tips, you will love what I do. Get your FREE chapters of my E-Book 'Teenager Parenting 101" here www.parentingwithdolly.com
To shift the mindset of people to develop self-leadership in life through self-love. Life Coaching for Success through self-love - increasing personal confidence, personal satisfaction, purpose in life and success in parenting,
To connect parents and teens to inspire each other to live life purposefully.
Dolly Yeo is the chief coach and founder of Mindset Coaching that specialises in life coaching.
She is a Results Certified Coach (Australia).
Member of the International Coach Federation, Singapore.
Member of Asia Pacific Alliance of Coaches (APAC)
She is also an Active Parenting Certified Leader as well as a Certified Parent Facilitator for Parenting Workshops.
Find out more about Dolly Yeo and Mindset Coaching at her website www.mindset-coaching.com or to subscribe to her free newsletters.
Author of E-Book "Teenager Parenting 101" http://www.parentingwithdolly.com