Our Cheating Hearts

I am always puzzled when I hear new answers to that deep philosophical question, why do men cheat? To me this question is the equivalent to what is the meaning of life? Not surprisingly, thousands of books have been published attempting to answer this very question. There are those that say cheating in men can be prevented if women do all the right things to keep their man happy. We have new celebrity books written by; you guessed it men, to tell us what we women are doing wrong. Then there are those who have raised the question to a more scientific level, suggesting that the existence of a cheating gene is another possibility, anything to take responsibility away from the cheater.

First, I would like to begin by rephrasing this very question to why do people cheat? This question has too often been directed at men and I ask why not women as well? Don't get me wrong my fellow sister women, I feel you, but infidelity is not an issue exclusive to men. Perhaps statistics are higher for men, but these surveys are dependent upon honesty and it is quite possible that women are more reluctant to admit to infidelity.

Just the other night I turned on the TV and there it was, a news special on why men cheat. I listened as "experts" chimed in with their inane theories, the most prevalent one being that the majority of men report that they were unfaithful because of the lack of attention they had been receiving from their spouse. What are we five years old boys? Yes, I did say boys. How absurd to use lack of attention as an excuse for infidelity. Is it really the spouse's job to supply attention 24/7 to her mate in order to prevent infidelity? The topic of women as cheaters was touched on very briefly suggesting the problem is not as prevalent among the fairer sex. The "expert" explanation for women cheating was the need for an emotional connection, whereas for men it was more physical. I had to ask myself how an entire hour could be devoted to such drivel.

The problem with those attempting to discover the reason behind infidelity is that they are over thinking it. I believe that the answer to this question is really quite simple. Certainly some may cheat due to a loss of connection with their spouse, but for the most part I believe people cheat simply because they want to. They either lack self control or simply lack the moral fiber that is necessary in remaining faithful. Then they attempt to justify their cheating with the reasoning suggested by the "experts". Each day we face temptations whether it is in choosing to eat the right foods or choosing to remain faithful to our mate, and while life's daily stressors may sometimes seem to push us in the wrong direction, it is ultimately our own free will and our own moral convictions that will determine what path we will take.

For those who have been betrayed and feel that it's their fault, I say put the blame where it belongs, on the cheater. It doesn't matter if the other party was more attractive than you, younger than you or more interesting than you. There will always be those in life who may be more attractive and perhaps more interesting. This fact does not diminish your value and make you less deserving of fidelity.

Beautiful people suffer the same betrayals as the not so beautiful so it is less about looks and more about opportunity, moral fiber and weakness. I don't believe infidelity is something that we can prevent despite what the books may say. If one is so inclined to cheat he or she is like the proverbial cat that cannot help but lick itself and there is nothing you can do to stop it.