Communicating with your ex boyfriend can cause all sorts of questions and problems. You gave to know how to do it properly if your aim is to get him back. There is a lot to learn about when to contact him after the break up, what to say and what methods to use. It can be a bit of a mind battle, so this article will hopefully enlighten you about the best course of action to take.
A complete solution to help you get your ex back into your life is provided at the end of this write-up (Author's Bio), meanwhile let's build the foundation.
Do Not Contact Him After The Break Up If You Want Him Back
Breakups are difficult but they don't have to devolve into a nasty mess. In order to avoid over-complicating the situation, keep it as neat as possible by distancing yourself from your ex as soon as the breakup occurs. That means not contacting him and cutting off any common ties completely. It also involves staying away from social networks like Facebook, any kind of contact with him, be it indirect, will be an extremely bad idea.
Your distance will give him the opportunity he needs to come to grips with his feelings and start the process of missing you. It will also give you the time you need to focus on the positive aspects of getting back together while removing the negativity still lingering from the breakup itself. Instead of slipping into despondency, remind yourself that you're going to get back together as long as you're able to control your emotions, clear your head and be willing to wait for the right moment.
Don't Agree To Be Friends With Him So That He Can Keep Tabs On You
The reality that you may not realize is that your ex-boyfriend doesn't want to be your friend either - although he may suggest it. He thinks that by offering friendship instead of the relationship that he knows you still want will make you feel better - and it may help him avoid a messy scene. He's trying to spare your feelings in the only way he knows how. If your feelings aren't his top concern, then keeping a watchful eye on you is. If he's aware of your activities he can gauge his chances of getting back together - in case he changes his mind about the breakup later on.
Do Not Rush Things - Be Patient
Although his curiosity is growing, it doesn't mean that he's ready to dive back into a relationship. It does mean that you're in his thoughts, though - and that's a part of the process that is going to work out best for you later on. Ignoring you may be what his original intention consisted of but that's going to be next to impossible if he realizes that he can't be updated constantly on your status or your current frame of mind. If you break down and contact him before the time is right, he's going to continue to feel justified in enjoying his single life to the max. He won't worry that you're moving on and he won't have to reassess the situation due to a fear of losing you completely.
When He Contacts You
If you have managed to hold out for this long he will be curious about you and that will make him want to contact you. You have to know how to handle this situation and what to say to your ex boyfriend to make him want you back. Going in all guns blazing now will undo all of your hard work up until this point.
If he is the one who initiates contact with you it is best to let him take the lead and direct the conversation. If he asks you questions about what you have been up to, do not let too much slip. You don't want to start lying and feel the pressure to make up all of these exciting things that you have been doing - especially when you have been sitting at home pining for him. He will see through lies very quickly and then distrust you. You do not want him to think that you have an ulterior motive and are trying to impress him, you will only end up looking foolish.
Be pleasant of course, but not overly friendly - you do not want him to think that you are trying too hard. If you are too happy he will think that you are pretending and it will sound way too unnatural. Try to be laid back and breezy, act as if his contact is welcome, but you are kind of busy at the moment.
Never ask him any leading questions about how he feels, never bring up the break up or don't sound desperate. You have to make the whole process a pleasant one so that he wants to contact you again. If you put him under too much pressure, act bitter or create awkward silences, he will not contact you again. This is why keeping the conversation short is a good idea. Let him know that you have to be somewhere and then tell him that it was nice to hear from him.
Your Next Steps
You have to understand more about the no contact rule first before anything else. This is the foundation to getting back with him. You will leave him wanting more if you pay attention to the psychological techniques that you should be using.
To get him back you also have to read the signs he still likes you. He will be giving off hints about how he really feels, even if he doesn't realize it himself. It is your job to decipher these signals and find out where you stand with him. Visit blog links at Author’s Bio below for vastly effective tips for an ex boyfriend and get him falling in love with you over again.
Do you want your ex to come back to you? Discover all it takes to make your ex want you back by visiting this website: How To Get Your Ex Back
Hi, I am Vanessa Moore, a relationship coach specializing in breakups and dating.
On my website you will find the complete guide to bring your ex back to you, here's the link again: How To Make Your Ex Want You Back
Wish you godspeed...